1 00:00:03,909 --> 00:00:01,829 as with all podcasts you can click on 2 00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:03,919 the timestamp in the description or over 3 00:00:06,630 --> 00:00:05,520 here you can see the timestamp to skip 4 00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:06,640 this intro 5 00:00:10,549 --> 00:00:08,480 lillian dindo is a professor of 6 00:00:12,549 --> 00:00:10,559 psychiatry at the baylor college school 7 00:00:14,789 --> 00:00:12,559 of medicine and a researcher as well as 8 00:00:16,630 --> 00:00:14,799 popularizer of the psychotherapeutic 9 00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:16,640 technique or way of life depending on 10 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:18,800 how you look at it called acceptance and 11 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:21,199 commitment therapy which we call act 12 00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:22,960 therapy if you've watched the recent 13 00:00:26,390 --> 00:00:24,800 carl fristen episode which is linked in 14 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:26,400 the description then you'll see that i 15 00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:28,080 consider that one to be the most 16 00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:30,080 important episode of all the theories of 17 00:00:33,430 --> 00:00:31,840 everything podcasts and that's in 18 00:00:35,590 --> 00:00:33,440 particular because it serves as a 19 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:35,600 cautionary tale of what serious 20 00:00:40,389 --> 00:00:37,520 examinations into consciousness and 21 00:00:42,549 --> 00:00:40,399 reality altering theories can cause in 22 00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:42,559 one's mind and it's not pleasant you may 23 00:00:46,229 --> 00:00:44,960 have heard me use the term abignosis 24 00:00:48,389 --> 00:00:46,239 which is what i think science will 25 00:00:50,069 --> 00:00:48,399 develop to merging the inwardly 26 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:50,079 experiential knowledges with the 27 00:00:54,549 --> 00:00:52,480 outwardly objective knowledges broadly 28 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:54,559 speaking on the toe podcast one of the 29 00:00:58,790 --> 00:00:56,640 eventual goals is to take a syncretic 30 00:01:01,189 --> 00:00:58,800 approach to both the east and the west 31 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:01,199 which are ordinarily kept separate what 32 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:03,120 i like about lily and dindo is that the 33 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:05,360 act therapy that she advocates for not 34 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:07,680 only helped me during recent extreme 35 00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:10,000 psychological turmoil but simultaneously 36 00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:11,360 it serves as a bridge between the 37 00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:13,040 philosophies of the east and the 38 00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:14,640 practices of the west now if you're 39 00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:16,080 interested in the philosophies of the 40 00:01:21,109 --> 00:01:18,240 west and the practices of the east then 41 00:01:22,469 --> 00:01:21,119 you can watch the recent ahlmass episode 42 00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:22,479 linked in the description as well my 43 00:01:25,190 --> 00:01:23,920 name is kirchey mungle and i'm a 44 00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:25,200 filmmaker 45 00:01:29,749 --> 00:01:28,240 podcaster slash person investigating 46 00:01:31,749 --> 00:01:29,759 theories of everything from a 47 00:01:33,429 --> 00:01:31,759 theoretical physics perspective but as 48 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:33,439 well as understanding the philosophies 49 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:35,280 of consciousness and what role 50 00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:37,759 consciousness has to fundamental reality 51 00:01:41,830 --> 00:01:39,680 recently there's been a video released 52 00:01:43,429 --> 00:01:41,840 on this channel called a crash course on 53 00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:43,439 theoretical physics which was the 54 00:01:47,109 --> 00:01:45,360 longest time that i've spent on any 55 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:47,119 single video on this channel if you're 56 00:01:52,069 --> 00:01:49,520 interested in salvator pius's ideas on 57 00:01:53,590 --> 00:01:52,079 quantum gravity or extra dimensions or 58 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:53,600 what it means when a physicist 59 00:01:57,749 --> 00:01:55,759 quote-unquote sets c to equal one to 60 00:01:59,350 --> 00:01:57,759 equal h-bar then do consider watching 61 00:02:01,190 --> 00:01:59,360 that as it's the lesson that i wish i 62 00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:01,200 had when i was going to university by 63 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:02,960 the way my background is in mathematical 64 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:04,719 physics and the math in this video is 65 00:02:07,990 --> 00:02:06,320 aimed at the high school level there are 66 00:02:09,749 --> 00:02:08,000 plenty of myths in physics that are 67 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:09,759 dispelled there as well as well as 68 00:02:13,589 --> 00:02:11,599 general tips on learning mathematics and 69 00:02:15,190 --> 00:02:13,599 physics feel free to share that to 70 00:02:17,110 --> 00:02:15,200 someone who's interested in physics and 71 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:17,120 mathematics this work was only able to 72 00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:19,040 be done because of brilliant and the 73 00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:21,200 patrons now with regard to brilliant 74 00:02:24,790 --> 00:02:23,040 they're the sponsor of this episode 75 00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:24,800 brilliant is a website and an app that 76 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:26,800 has interactive learning experiences 77 00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:28,560 with regard to math science and 78 00:02:32,229 --> 00:02:30,080 engineering they have lessons on 79 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:32,239 information theory on group theory and 80 00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:34,080 special relativity group theory by the 81 00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:35,360 way is what's being referenced when you 82 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:37,040 hear that the standard models quote 83 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:39,040 unquote internal gauge symmetries are u1 84 00:02:42,869 --> 00:02:41,519 cross su 2 crosses su 3 and so on at 85 00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:42,879 some point soon i'll be speaking to 86 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:45,360 chiara marletto on constructor theory 87 00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:47,680 and that is heavily predicated on 88 00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:49,200 information theory and so i took 89 00:02:52,710 --> 00:02:50,720 brilliance course and it made it 90 00:02:54,430 --> 00:02:52,720 extremely lucid why the formula for 91 00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:54,440 entropy is the way that it is visit 92 00:02:59,589 --> 00:02:57,360 brilliant.org toe to get 20 off the 93 00:03:02,149 --> 00:02:59,599 annual subscription i recommend you 94 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:02,159 don't stop before at least four lessons 95 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:04,319 and i think you'll be greatly surprised 96 00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:05,760 at the ease at which you now can 97 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:08,000 comprehend subjects you previously had a 98 00:03:12,070 --> 00:03:10,159 difficult time grocking now if you enjoy 99 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:12,080 witnessing and engaging in real-time 100 00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:13,920 conversation with others on the topics 101 00:03:18,390 --> 00:03:16,400 of consciousness psychology physics 102 00:03:20,149 --> 00:03:18,400 religion then check out the description 103 00:03:22,149 --> 00:03:20,159 for a link to the theories of everything 104 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:22,159 discord and subreddit there's also a 105 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:24,760 link to the patreon that is 106 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:26,720 patreon.com if you'd like to support 107 00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:28,720 this podcast as the patrons and the 108 00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:30,560 sponsors are the only reason that i'm 109 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:32,480 able to put out videos of this quality 110 00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:35,040 in this depth such as the crash course 111 00:03:38,869 --> 00:03:37,040 on theoretical physics as this is what 112 00:03:40,149 --> 00:03:38,879 i'm now able to do full time thanks to 113 00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:40,159 your support 114 00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:42,720 thank you and enjoy professor one of the 115 00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:44,560 reasons i was and am excited to speak 116 00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:47,200 with you is because when one goes about 117 00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:49,040 this project of questioning what reality 118 00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:51,040 is and consciousness and so on which is 119 00:03:54,789 --> 00:03:52,959 essentially what concerns this channel 120 00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:54,799 it can be destabilizing there can be 121 00:03:59,429 --> 00:03:57,280 existential dread and what i found that 122 00:04:01,830 --> 00:03:59,439 helped me was something called act 123 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:01,840 therapy an approach called act and i was 124 00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:03,760 searching for more information about it 125 00:04:07,270 --> 00:04:05,439 a few months ago and your name kept 126 00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:07,280 popping up over and over and since then 127 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:08,799 i think i've watched all of the material 128 00:04:12,550 --> 00:04:10,400 that has you online 129 00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:12,560 so i'm super excited to speak with you 130 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:15,120 about act and why don't you start off 131 00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:17,600 with what is act what does it stand for 132 00:04:20,789 --> 00:04:19,120 what is it and how did you become 133 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:20,799 interested in it 134 00:04:23,189 --> 00:04:22,160 okay 135 00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:23,199 um 136 00:04:29,030 --> 00:04:26,000 so act is stands for acceptance and 137 00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:29,040 commitment therapy and 138 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:31,040 act as a psychological treatment 139 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:33,360 approach it evolved out of the 140 00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:36,320 behavioral analytic tradition 141 00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:38,960 and it focuses on teaching skills for 142 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:41,840 living effectively even in difficult 143 00:04:45,909 --> 00:04:43,840 circumstances 144 00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:45,919 so act actually is more than just a 145 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:50,320 therapy it's a framework for living well 146 00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:52,880 and unlike a lot of treatment approaches 147 00:04:58,629 --> 00:04:55,360 or protocols that are tied to specific 148 00:05:01,189 --> 00:04:58,639 symptom presentations or disorders 149 00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:01,199 act is actually applicable to virtually 150 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:02,400 all people 151 00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:05,520 regardless of circumstances culture 152 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:07,440 complaint 153 00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:09,919 and i think part of the reason for that 154 00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:13,120 is the premise from which it begins so 155 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:14,800 act begins 156 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:17,600 with this fundamental understanding 157 00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:19,120 that pain 158 00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:20,400 grief 159 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:22,560 loss disappointment 160 00:05:27,830 --> 00:05:25,680 fear these are inevitable features of 161 00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:27,840 living a human life 162 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:28,960 and 163 00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:35,120 is not the elimination of these 164 00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:37,600 experiences or symptoms 165 00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:39,120 but instead 166 00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:41,600 a wholehearted pursuit 167 00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:44,160 of living a valued life 168 00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:46,880 valued life areas like relationships 169 00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:48,320 meaningful work 170 00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:50,720 education personal growth 171 00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:53,199 even in the presence of difficult 172 00:05:58,710 --> 00:05:55,919 emotional experiences and thoughts 173 00:06:01,029 --> 00:05:58,720 so the emphasis on the heart of act is 174 00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:01,039 creating this life 175 00:06:06,629 --> 00:06:04,080 um a worthwhile life that you want both 176 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:06,639 now and in the future 177 00:06:09,029 --> 00:06:08,160 so 178 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:09,039 act 179 00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:10,560 you know doesn't believe that people are 180 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:13,840 broken or that they have illnesses 181 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:15,360 just that they're stuck in 182 00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:17,120 understandable patterns that aren't 183 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:19,199 working for them based on 184 00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:22,000 their history what they've been through 185 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:24,400 and so act gives people the tools to 186 00:06:27,749 --> 00:06:25,520 deal with 187 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:27,759 the opportunities and the difficulties 188 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:30,080 that life throws our way 189 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:30,960 um 190 00:06:35,909 --> 00:06:32,319 and in a 191 00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:35,919 nutshell it helps us accept things that 192 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:38,240 are really difficult to control 193 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:40,880 and teaches us to commit to doing the 194 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:43,280 things that we deeply care about 195 00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:45,360 so in a nutshell 196 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:47,520 that's that's what act has 197 00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:49,440 you know um 198 00:06:53,189 --> 00:06:51,360 is about and 199 00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:53,199 i got into it when i was in graduate 200 00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:55,280 school and i had learned you know all 201 00:07:01,029 --> 00:06:57,600 these other models of therapy 202 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:01,039 and to be perfectly honest i wasn't 203 00:07:05,589 --> 00:07:02,880 for example traditional cognitive 204 00:07:07,430 --> 00:07:05,599 behavioral therapy um interpersonal 205 00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:07,440 psychotherapy 206 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:08,400 and 207 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:10,960 they were fine they were great you know 208 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:13,360 but it didn't personally resonate with 209 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:15,360 me you know it was like i'm the expert 210 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:17,120 and i'm going to treat this person in 211 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:20,319 front of me using this intervention 212 00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:22,800 and i remember opening up 213 00:07:27,589 --> 00:07:24,880 you know starting to study act and 214 00:07:30,629 --> 00:07:27,599 opening up the book 215 00:07:33,029 --> 00:07:30,639 you know for for the class and 216 00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:33,039 there was this sentence in the first 217 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:35,280 paragraph of the 218 00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:37,759 main act textbook 219 00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:39,280 and that 220 00:07:45,189 --> 00:07:41,840 the end of that paragraph said 221 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:45,199 the single most remarkable fact of human 222 00:07:49,110 --> 00:07:46,560 existence 223 00:07:51,909 --> 00:07:49,120 is how hard it is for human beings to be 224 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:51,919 happy that sounds extremely eastern is 225 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:54,240 this influenced by eastern approaches 226 00:07:57,909 --> 00:07:55,919 it's absolutely 227 00:08:01,350 --> 00:07:57,919 so the other thing it says is suffering 228 00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:01,360 is a basic characteristic of human life 229 00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:03,840 and it's absolutely influenced by 230 00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:06,160 eastern philosophy so it has you know 231 00:08:11,189 --> 00:08:09,120 there are six processes in act 232 00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:11,199 and again unlike other treatment 233 00:08:14,469 --> 00:08:13,120 approaches it was built from the bottom 234 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:14,479 up and so 235 00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:16,639 there were lots of clinical 236 00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:19,919 science studies being done even before 237 00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:23,120 act was presented as a treatment model 238 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:25,680 and so it pulled from things that were 239 00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:27,680 found to be effective and from the 240 00:08:31,909 --> 00:08:29,440 eastern tradition for example we know 241 00:08:34,550 --> 00:08:31,919 that mindfulness is effective 242 00:08:36,469 --> 00:08:34,560 um and that this basic premise that 243 00:08:37,589 --> 00:08:36,479 suffering is 244 00:08:40,949 --> 00:08:37,599 you know 245 00:08:43,829 --> 00:08:40,959 a part of the human condition and so 246 00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:43,839 act certainly has parts of the eastern 247 00:08:49,509 --> 00:08:46,560 tradition but it's not only that 248 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:49,519 act as an exposure therapy but it's not 249 00:08:54,550 --> 00:08:51,680 just an exposure therapy 250 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:54,560 act as a behavioral activation therapy 251 00:09:00,389 --> 00:08:56,880 but it's not just a behavioral 252 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:00,399 activation therapy it pulls in 253 00:09:04,389 --> 00:09:02,720 different processes that have been shown 254 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:04,399 to work 255 00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:07,120 over time and puts them into a treatment 256 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:08,480 package 257 00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:11,519 is it fairly new 258 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:13,680 it is not fairly new 259 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:15,760 the first textbook 260 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:19,600 description of act came out in 1999 261 00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:25,200 so act as a package came out in 1999 but 262 00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:27,040 the developers of act had been 263 00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:28,640 researching 264 00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:31,200 for about 20 years beforehand 265 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:35,040 the different processes like you know 266 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:37,920 thought suppression you know we know we 267 00:09:41,829 --> 00:09:39,680 we know one of the most consistent 268 00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:41,839 findings in psychology which is hard to 269 00:09:45,509 --> 00:09:43,040 find 270 00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:45,519 is that thought suppression even though 271 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:48,000 it works really well in the short term 272 00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:51,120 it actually leads to a rebound effect 273 00:09:55,269 --> 00:09:53,360 in the long term you know so 274 00:09:56,949 --> 00:09:55,279 trying to push down thoughts trying to 275 00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:56,959 distract from thoughts trying to run 276 00:10:00,790 --> 00:09:58,640 away from thoughts 277 00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:00,800 very effective in the short term but in 278 00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:03,200 the long term actually has a rebound 279 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:06,160 effect so the developers of act had been 280 00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:08,320 researching these processes for a few 281 00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:10,640 decades before they came out with the 282 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:13,440 treatment model in 1999. 283 00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:16,160 between 1999 and now the research 284 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:18,320 literature on act has completely 285 00:10:22,949 --> 00:10:19,760 exploded 286 00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:22,959 there are over 300 randomized control 287 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:25,519 trials right now of act 288 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:29,120 and in general a recent meta-analysis of 289 00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:31,120 the meta-analyses 290 00:10:34,069 --> 00:10:32,480 has shown 291 00:10:36,389 --> 00:10:34,079 that it's either equivalent to other 292 00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:36,399 gold standard treatments 293 00:10:40,069 --> 00:10:38,720 or in some cases can be more effective 294 00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:40,079 more effective 295 00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:41,040 and 296 00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:46,720 difficulties you mentioned earlier that 297 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:48,720 people go through so i imagine one may 298 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:50,560 be obsessive thoughts what are some 299 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:53,360 other examples of illnesses or 300 00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:54,880 if one doesn't want to consider them 301 00:10:59,110 --> 00:10:57,040 illnesses or whatever you would like to 302 00:11:01,030 --> 00:10:59,120 call them what are some examples of 303 00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:01,040 distresses that people go through that 304 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:06,470 um 305 00:11:12,829 --> 00:11:11,680 life i mean 306 00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:12,839 everyone 307 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:15,600 who's got a pulse is going to be 308 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:19,440 rejected at some point no matter how 309 00:11:24,389 --> 00:11:21,440 wonderful and and intelligent and 310 00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:24,399 beautiful and successful you might be 311 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:26,079 you're still going to be rejected by 312 00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:27,760 people in your life you know and that's 313 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:29,040 gonna hurt 314 00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:31,600 we're all gonna have an illness in our 315 00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:33,680 life we're all gonna face 316 00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:35,680 a medical illness that's gonna challenge 317 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:39,040 us we are all going to face heartbreak 318 00:11:44,949 --> 00:11:42,079 uh the loss of people we love 319 00:11:48,389 --> 00:11:44,959 in anything that you care about there's 320 00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:48,399 the flip side that it comes with pain 321 00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:51,200 if you have a child you know 322 00:11:59,590 --> 00:11:52,240 that 323 00:12:01,750 --> 00:11:59,600 comes intense anxiety 324 00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:01,760 about their well-being and their health 325 00:12:06,389 --> 00:12:03,920 and their future right 326 00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:06,399 and so in act they have this saying in 327 00:12:11,269 --> 00:12:07,760 your pain 328 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:11,279 you find your values and in your values 329 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:13,360 you find your pain 330 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:15,120 and that means that anything you care 331 00:12:20,069 --> 00:12:17,680 about if you care about a friend 332 00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:20,079 and you care about a friendship and 333 00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:22,480 you're betrayed 334 00:12:26,069 --> 00:12:24,480 right and so 335 00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:26,079 the natural thing like let's take that 336 00:12:30,629 --> 00:12:28,560 for an example you have a friend really 337 00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:30,639 good close friend 338 00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:33,440 and you were betrayed or you felt 339 00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:34,959 rejected 340 00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:36,480 the easy thing to do would be to 341 00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:39,680 withdraw not talk about it withdraw shut 342 00:12:44,949 --> 00:12:42,800 them out of your life right 343 00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:44,959 and you can also avoid future 344 00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:46,320 friendships 345 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:48,240 for example because you feel like you've 346 00:12:53,829 --> 00:12:50,480 been rejected and you've been 347 00:12:56,069 --> 00:12:53,839 you know you don't trust and so 348 00:12:57,829 --> 00:12:56,079 it applies to any of life's difficulties 349 00:12:58,870 --> 00:12:57,839 you know going to grad school you have 350 00:13:00,790 --> 00:12:58,880 to be 351 00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:00,800 going to any actually you know 352 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:02,160 educational 353 00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:04,560 program it's not easy 354 00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:06,480 you have to face criticism you have to 355 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:09,120 face difficult challenges how do you 356 00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:11,600 face those challenges do you withdraw or 357 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:13,120 do you face them 358 00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:15,040 so when you ask me like what are the 359 00:13:18,069 --> 00:13:16,720 challenges 360 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:18,079 i think 361 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:19,600 there's really far 362 00:13:24,949 --> 00:13:22,079 it's anything in life that 363 00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:24,959 is gonna gonna hurt sometimes 364 00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:27,680 and also opportunities you know when 365 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:29,760 someone says to me like you just said to 366 00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:31,200 me will you come 367 00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:33,279 do this interview 368 00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:35,680 it would really be much easier and less 369 00:13:40,629 --> 00:13:38,240 anxiety provoking to say no thank you 370 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:40,639 right much easier 371 00:13:46,389 --> 00:13:43,920 but over time if i keep doing that 372 00:13:48,629 --> 00:13:46,399 number one i never learn how to cope 373 00:13:51,670 --> 00:13:48,639 with my anxiety 374 00:13:53,910 --> 00:13:51,680 number two my anxiety starts actually 375 00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:53,920 seeping into other areas because i never 376 00:13:57,829 --> 00:13:56,000 learned how to cope with it 377 00:13:59,590 --> 00:13:57,839 and number three 378 00:14:02,949 --> 00:13:59,600 my world's getting smaller because i'm 379 00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:02,959 not doing something i care about 380 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:04,240 this latter part sounds like the 381 00:14:08,150 --> 00:14:06,560 exposure therapy aspect but if you were 382 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:08,160 to avoid it well that's going to make it 383 00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:09,760 worse and if you were to encounter it 384 00:14:15,829 --> 00:14:12,240 voluntarily slowly incrementally on your 385 00:14:18,949 --> 00:14:15,839 terms then it increases your resilience 386 00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:18,959 so are you feeling anxiety right now 387 00:14:22,870 --> 00:14:21,360 i'm definitely feeling anxiety right now 388 00:14:25,269 --> 00:14:22,880 um 389 00:14:27,829 --> 00:14:25,279 my heart like so what is anxiety right 390 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:27,839 and if you disentangle anxiety what is 391 00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:29,279 it 392 00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:34,959 the physical 393 00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:38,240 like my heart's definitely racing a 394 00:14:42,629 --> 00:14:40,480 little bit more than maybe the norm 395 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:42,639 i can feel my throat like a little bit 396 00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:45,120 constricted you know i feel a little bit 397 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:47,199 shaky so those are the physical 398 00:14:50,949 --> 00:14:49,199 sensations right 399 00:14:51,829 --> 00:14:50,959 then there's the thoughts 400 00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:51,839 now 401 00:14:58,389 --> 00:14:56,240 there aren't a lot of thoughts going on 402 00:15:00,310 --> 00:14:58,399 but in general like the thoughts are 403 00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:00,320 like before i came in 404 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:01,680 oh my god am i going to know how to 405 00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:04,079 answer this is oh i have to blow this am 406 00:15:06,629 --> 00:15:05,760 i going to sound stupid right i mean 407 00:15:08,389 --> 00:15:06,639 it's 408 00:15:10,949 --> 00:15:08,399 these are the thoughts 409 00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:10,959 and then the third piece is 410 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:14,399 the behavioral like urge that you have 411 00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:16,720 that comes with an emotion 412 00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:17,920 you know that's a component of the 413 00:15:22,949 --> 00:15:20,639 emotion and when it's anxiety the 414 00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:22,959 behavioral urge is to run 415 00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:25,440 right it's to say not gonna do this 416 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:27,279 because if i run 417 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:29,120 in the short term 418 00:15:32,629 --> 00:15:31,440 my anxiety goes down 419 00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:32,639 right 420 00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:37,750 what i've learned to do 421 00:15:42,069 --> 00:15:39,680 and i've had panic attacks by the way 422 00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:42,079 and i learned and i you know i've run 423 00:15:47,269 --> 00:15:45,040 away many times 424 00:15:49,509 --> 00:15:47,279 but what i've learned to do is when i 425 00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:49,519 notice my anxiety well let me ask you 426 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:52,160 this kurt let's say that i noticed my 427 00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:54,880 heart racing and my throat constricting 428 00:15:59,910 --> 00:15:57,360 and i start saying to myself 429 00:16:01,110 --> 00:15:59,920 this is terrible you cannot do this this 430 00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:01,120 is terrible 431 00:16:06,069 --> 00:16:03,759 this is the worst thing this is awful 432 00:16:09,509 --> 00:16:06,079 why am i like this why after 20 years do 433 00:16:10,949 --> 00:16:09,519 i still get this way it's so ridiculous 434 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:10,959 get with it 435 00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:12,399 what do you think will happen to my 436 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:13,680 anxiety 437 00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:16,320 it won't go away it may increase and 438 00:16:19,509 --> 00:16:18,000 especially if you leave in that 439 00:16:21,269 --> 00:16:19,519 situation once it'll make it much more 440 00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:21,279 likely for you to leave again and so 441 00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:24,000 avoidance will increase as well 442 00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:27,360 both yes so actually if i respond 443 00:16:31,269 --> 00:16:30,240 to the physical sensations 444 00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:31,279 with 445 00:16:38,949 --> 00:16:35,279 rejection and why and this is awful 446 00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:38,959 then it actually increases the anxiety 447 00:16:43,749 --> 00:16:41,120 so now when i notice my heart racing and 448 00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:43,759 my throat constricting i say okay 449 00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:45,920 your heart's racing okay your throat's 450 00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:47,839 constricting 451 00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:50,000 and this is important like this is 452 00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:52,240 important for me to do so 453 00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:54,480 you know i can be with this that's the 454 00:16:59,350 --> 00:16:55,920 value part 455 00:17:01,829 --> 00:16:59,360 exactly it's you connect it the values 456 00:17:05,909 --> 00:17:01,839 piece is what makes it worthwhile like 457 00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:05,919 why would i put myself in this situation 458 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:08,000 well i'll put myself in this situation 459 00:17:12,309 --> 00:17:09,839 because it matters to me because this is 460 00:17:14,949 --> 00:17:12,319 something i care about you know 461 00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:14,959 so it provides the motivation it 462 00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:17,679 provides the why for why i should do 463 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:19,600 this values are 464 00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:21,760 the purpose behind 465 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:23,280 why you might do things that are 466 00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:26,000 uncomfortable or difficult so 467 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:28,000 there's number one 468 00:17:32,549 --> 00:17:30,320 you know just noticing my okay like my 469 00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:32,559 heart's racing okay 470 00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:35,280 that's okay you know my throats go okay 471 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:36,880 my throat's constricting that happens 472 00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:37,600 when 473 00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:40,080 i go running that happens 474 00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:42,400 in many situations 475 00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:44,080 but sometimes i interpret it as 476 00:17:48,470 --> 00:17:46,559 dangerous and sometimes i interpret it 477 00:17:50,549 --> 00:17:48,480 as pleasant 478 00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:50,559 but the physical sensation itself is the 479 00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:51,440 same 480 00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:52,480 and so 481 00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:55,440 it's like now i can say okay i'm okay i 482 00:18:00,070 --> 00:17:58,160 can i can have this anxiety and still 483 00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:00,080 commit to doing this because it matters 484 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:01,600 to me 485 00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:03,760 is it exactly the physiologically the 486 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:06,000 same so i hear this plenty that people 487 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:07,679 will say excitement and anxiety are two 488 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:09,360 sides of the same coin except it depends 489 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:10,799 on the interpretation you place on it 490 00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:12,559 one is positive but i don't know is that 491 00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:14,960 actually true if one was to examine all 492 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:17,600 of the biomarkers could one in a blinded 493 00:18:21,110 --> 00:18:19,760 study determine dispassionately this 494 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:21,120 actually this person's going through an 495 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:22,480 anxious emotion whereas this one's going 496 00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:25,200 through an excited emotion 497 00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:26,480 crazily 498 00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:27,440 yes 499 00:18:30,549 --> 00:18:29,120 they're the same 500 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:30,559 there's this um 501 00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:32,480 and i you might want to cut this off 502 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:34,000 from the video 503 00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:35,200 sure sure 504 00:18:39,029 --> 00:18:36,480 you might want to cut this off but 505 00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:39,039 anyways there's a there's a study 506 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:43,520 um by some famous sex therapists and 507 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:44,480 they 508 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:47,440 did a biomarker study actually 509 00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:50,640 where they hooked up people who were 510 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:52,799 you know like um blood 511 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:54,240 you know 512 00:19:01,110 --> 00:18:57,280 electrodermal response heart rate few 513 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:01,120 other biomarkers and they found that the 514 00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:04,720 biomarkers were exactly the same or 515 00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:06,480 similar enough i guess so that's 516 00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:08,640 statistically significant 517 00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:11,600 that people having an orgasm were 518 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:13,280 indistinguishable from people having a 519 00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:14,880 panic attack 520 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:16,559 right so well that's extremely 521 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:18,000 interesting 522 00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:20,880 right and so you know the heart racing 523 00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:23,200 throat constricting like feeling like 524 00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:25,120 whoa right like 525 00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:26,960 they were indistinguishable 526 00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:28,799 on the electrodermal response and on the 527 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:32,480 heart rate and and other um biomarkers 528 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:34,400 so 529 00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:39,200 distinguishable actually okay now 530 00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:41,280 in a meta manner we've gotten to the why 531 00:19:45,190 --> 00:19:43,600 of act that is why should people who are 532 00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:45,200 listening slash watching to this care 533 00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:47,840 about act so the value of act let's get 534 00:19:52,549 --> 00:19:51,120 into the what of act what is act 535 00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:52,559 can you break it down step by step how 536 00:19:56,789 --> 00:19:54,400 does someone go through the process of 537 00:20:00,870 --> 00:19:58,710 how does the person go through the 538 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:00,880 process of act well it depends it 539 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:02,960 depends which um 540 00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:05,280 way you do it right so which treatment 541 00:20:08,789 --> 00:20:07,280 delivery format 542 00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:08,799 you're doing and so it could be 543 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:11,360 one-on-one therapy it could be workshops 544 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:14,320 it could be online you know okay i'll 545 00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:16,320 give you an example for me i was dealing 546 00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:17,919 with the obsessive thoughts that came 547 00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:20,640 from rumination of what the heck is 548 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:22,640 reality and then questioning my own 549 00:20:26,630 --> 00:20:23,760 and then 550 00:20:27,990 --> 00:20:26,640 i started to use one of the analogies 551 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:28,000 what's great about act is that it has 552 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:29,760 these visual analogies yeah so one of 553 00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:31,520 them is thoughts as if they're 554 00:20:36,149 --> 00:20:34,000 passengers on a bus and you're the 555 00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:36,159 driver of the bus and if you were to 556 00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:38,320 simply quiet the thoughts or tell them 557 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:40,320 to shut up or go away or be distressed 558 00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:42,960 about them and place an undue amount of 559 00:20:47,190 --> 00:20:44,480 attention to them then they become a bit 560 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:47,200 louder much like an obstreperous 561 00:20:51,909 --> 00:20:49,760 audience member would become more 562 00:20:53,590 --> 00:20:51,919 agitated the more that you speak to them 563 00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:53,600 perhaps what you should do is simply 564 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:55,440 acknowledge their existence say oh i see 565 00:20:58,390 --> 00:20:56,799 that you're there which is why by the 566 00:20:59,750 --> 00:20:58,400 way i want to get to is acknowledgement 567 00:21:01,590 --> 00:20:59,760 a better term than acceptance but we can 568 00:21:02,789 --> 00:21:01,600 get to that later that's a very good 569 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:02,799 question 570 00:21:06,070 --> 00:21:04,640 because accepting to me seems to take 571 00:21:07,669 --> 00:21:06,080 those thoughts on and say oh no your 572 00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:07,679 reality should be questioned and perhaps 573 00:21:11,990 --> 00:21:10,080 so and so is not true so anyway that's a 574 00:21:13,430 --> 00:21:12,000 very important question and i hope we 575 00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:13,440 get to it we'll get to look at this 576 00:21:16,470 --> 00:21:14,720 written down 577 00:21:18,870 --> 00:21:16,480 and so 578 00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:18,880 then i would view those thoughts as 579 00:21:23,029 --> 00:21:21,280 visually as passengers on a bus and i 580 00:21:24,789 --> 00:21:23,039 would say okay well i'm going to direct 581 00:21:26,310 --> 00:21:24,799 this bus where my values are and 582 00:21:28,390 --> 00:21:26,320 initially i missed out on the values 583 00:21:30,230 --> 00:21:28,400 portion so it wasn't as effective until 584 00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:30,240 i because then where am i going with the 585 00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:31,840 bus that to me is where the values come 586 00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:33,600 in and why should i even go there so 587 00:21:36,789 --> 00:21:35,120 initially i missed out on the values 588 00:21:38,149 --> 00:21:36,799 that later when i added that it became 589 00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:38,159 more 590 00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:40,480 effective for me okay so that's how it 591 00:21:42,549 --> 00:21:41,280 worked 592 00:21:44,789 --> 00:21:42,559 for me 593 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:44,799 and i think initially before that i was 594 00:21:47,270 --> 00:21:46,400 doing something that didn't work which 595 00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:47,280 you mentioned earlier thought 596 00:21:50,789 --> 00:21:49,600 suppression i did i had a rubber band on 597 00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:50,799 anytime i would have these thoughts that 598 00:21:54,310 --> 00:21:52,720 would give me anxiety i would do the 599 00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:54,320 self-administered adversive therapy 600 00:21:58,630 --> 00:21:56,640 which i thought worked for thoughts and 601 00:22:00,549 --> 00:21:58,640 it apparently doesn't it rebounds later 602 00:22:02,470 --> 00:22:00,559 maybe initially works but so i stopped 603 00:22:04,310 --> 00:22:02,480 that and found act and then i 604 00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:04,320 saw some success so that's my personal 605 00:22:07,430 --> 00:22:05,200 case 606 00:22:08,789 --> 00:22:07,440 with act so given that 607 00:22:09,990 --> 00:22:08,799 that's what i mean can you take us 608 00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:10,000 through an example of how someone 609 00:22:13,510 --> 00:22:11,440 listening may employ this in their own 610 00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:13,520 life and perhaps how one should apply it 611 00:22:16,470 --> 00:22:14,720 in their own life is too broad and maybe 612 00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:16,480 you just want to take a specific example 613 00:22:19,029 --> 00:22:17,520 and say 614 00:22:22,230 --> 00:22:19,039 you understand 615 00:22:24,230 --> 00:22:22,240 so i'll start broad and maybe go a 616 00:22:27,669 --> 00:22:24,240 little more narrow but tell me if this 617 00:22:29,590 --> 00:22:27,679 is the wrong direction 618 00:22:32,630 --> 00:22:29,600 so i'll share the 619 00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:32,640 kind of key features right 620 00:22:39,029 --> 00:22:36,000 first of all a rich and meaningful life 621 00:22:41,750 --> 00:22:39,039 and act is about what you want 622 00:22:43,669 --> 00:22:41,760 not what you don't want 623 00:22:45,909 --> 00:22:43,679 it's about going for something that you 624 00:22:49,029 --> 00:22:45,919 value and care about rather than 625 00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:49,039 escaping from or avoiding experiences 626 00:22:54,630 --> 00:22:51,760 that you don't want okay 627 00:22:56,310 --> 00:22:54,640 and so for example 628 00:22:58,470 --> 00:22:56,320 patients will come in or people will 629 00:23:00,950 --> 00:22:58,480 come in and they'll say 630 00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:00,960 i don't want to feel anxious anymore 631 00:23:06,830 --> 00:23:03,520 i don't want to feel pain anymore i 632 00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:06,840 don't want to feel sadness or guilt 633 00:23:12,549 --> 00:23:09,840 anymore people are quick 634 00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:12,559 and automatically will tell you all the 635 00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:15,120 things that they don't want 636 00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:16,240 and 637 00:23:24,630 --> 00:23:22,320 society is like okay well don't let's 638 00:23:26,710 --> 00:23:24,640 figure out how you can not feel this way 639 00:23:30,789 --> 00:23:26,720 right let's figure out how you can not 640 00:23:36,070 --> 00:23:33,110 act will say well okay 641 00:23:37,990 --> 00:23:36,080 if you weren't in pain what would you be 642 00:23:40,310 --> 00:23:38,000 doing instead 643 00:23:41,430 --> 00:23:40,320 if this pain were not getting in the way 644 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:41,440 of living 645 00:23:45,029 --> 00:23:43,760 as it is right now what would you be 646 00:23:47,669 --> 00:23:45,039 doing 647 00:23:49,590 --> 00:23:47,679 if you weren't so anxious 648 00:23:50,390 --> 00:23:49,600 what would you be doing 649 00:23:52,950 --> 00:23:50,400 right 650 00:23:55,029 --> 00:23:52,960 if you weren't so guilt-ridden 651 00:23:57,110 --> 00:23:55,039 what would you be doing you're trying to 652 00:24:00,310 --> 00:23:57,120 get away from 653 00:24:02,470 --> 00:24:00,320 symptom focus to 654 00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:02,480 what do you want to be doing in your 655 00:24:07,669 --> 00:24:05,520 life if those things were not there 656 00:24:10,310 --> 00:24:07,679 so that's the first thing 657 00:24:12,310 --> 00:24:10,320 then there's the issue of how to manage 658 00:24:15,269 --> 00:24:12,320 emotions and thoughts 659 00:24:16,710 --> 00:24:15,279 and our society has trained us to kind 660 00:24:19,430 --> 00:24:16,720 of think 661 00:24:21,750 --> 00:24:19,440 or to to respond to emotions and 662 00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:21,760 thoughts that we don't like by pushing 663 00:24:25,110 --> 00:24:22,960 them away 664 00:24:27,350 --> 00:24:25,120 right if i tell my friend 665 00:24:28,470 --> 00:24:27,360 i feel really anxious 666 00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:28,480 what's the first thing they're going to 667 00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:29,679 say kurt 668 00:24:32,870 --> 00:24:30,880 about what 669 00:24:34,630 --> 00:24:32,880 if i tell a friend i'm like 670 00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:34,640 i'm sorry they may say what are you 671 00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:35,919 anxious about 672 00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:37,520 okay they might say what are you anxious 673 00:24:40,950 --> 00:24:39,120 about and i'll say i'm really anxious 674 00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:40,960 about giving this talk 675 00:24:45,510 --> 00:24:43,360 then what what will they say 676 00:24:46,710 --> 00:24:45,520 oh don't worry about it you'll do fine 677 00:24:49,269 --> 00:24:46,720 you go girl 678 00:24:51,110 --> 00:24:49,279 yep exactly don't feel anxious you're 679 00:24:53,110 --> 00:24:51,120 fine right 680 00:24:55,990 --> 00:24:53,120 don't worry about it you're you're fine 681 00:24:57,029 --> 00:24:56,000 it's like so all the implicit messages 682 00:24:59,750 --> 00:24:57,039 we get 683 00:25:02,149 --> 00:24:59,760 is don't feel that way right or if or if 684 00:25:04,630 --> 00:25:02,159 i'm saying i feel really sad right now 685 00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:04,640 don't feel sad it's gonna be fine 686 00:25:08,630 --> 00:25:06,640 right 687 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:08,640 we are taught even all the 688 00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:11,120 advertisements about antidepressants 689 00:25:14,789 --> 00:25:13,440 anxiolytics are you anxious 690 00:25:16,789 --> 00:25:14,799 are you sad 691 00:25:21,990 --> 00:25:16,799 this can take it away 692 00:25:24,230 --> 00:25:22,000 been programmed to think it's not okay 693 00:25:25,669 --> 00:25:24,240 to feel this way 694 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:25,679 and so 695 00:25:29,510 --> 00:25:27,120 the problem 696 00:25:33,029 --> 00:25:29,520 is that both emotions 697 00:25:35,750 --> 00:25:33,039 and thoughts things inside our body 698 00:25:38,549 --> 00:25:35,760 that people cannot see 699 00:25:40,710 --> 00:25:38,559 are mostly involuntary 700 00:25:42,950 --> 00:25:40,720 these are mostly conditioned or 701 00:25:45,909 --> 00:25:42,960 programmed responses 702 00:25:49,909 --> 00:25:45,919 to certain circumstances in our life 703 00:25:51,990 --> 00:25:49,919 and the idea in act is to simply notice 704 00:25:54,230 --> 00:25:52,000 them for what they are 705 00:25:57,190 --> 00:25:54,240 and not struggle against them so let me 706 00:25:58,630 --> 00:25:57,200 give you two examples number one if i 707 00:26:00,230 --> 00:25:58,640 say and i'm going to give you a very 708 00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:00,240 benign one 709 00:26:05,669 --> 00:26:04,789 lamb 710 00:26:08,789 --> 00:26:05,679 one 711 00:26:11,590 --> 00:26:08,799 red white and 712 00:26:13,269 --> 00:26:11,600 i don't know this part blue 713 00:26:15,110 --> 00:26:13,279 blue 714 00:26:17,110 --> 00:26:15,120 one two 715 00:26:18,950 --> 00:26:17,120 three 716 00:26:21,269 --> 00:26:18,960 that's programmed 717 00:26:22,830 --> 00:26:21,279 if i tell you kurt 718 00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:22,840 do not say 719 00:26:29,430 --> 00:26:26,240 lamb after mary had a little 720 00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:29,440 could you not think lamb 721 00:26:33,269 --> 00:26:31,200 could you do that 722 00:26:35,590 --> 00:26:33,279 i mean i can't i don't know i imagine no 723 00:26:37,590 --> 00:26:35,600 i imagine the answer is no okay mary had 724 00:26:38,870 --> 00:26:37,600 a little think of something else 725 00:26:40,149 --> 00:26:38,880 panda 726 00:26:43,430 --> 00:26:40,159 okay 727 00:26:45,590 --> 00:26:43,440 i'll come back to that you will always 728 00:26:48,230 --> 00:26:45,600 always have lamb in your head 729 00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:48,240 because our brain does not work by 730 00:26:53,110 --> 00:26:50,080 subtraction 731 00:26:56,070 --> 00:26:53,120 our brain works by addition 732 00:26:59,029 --> 00:26:56,080 so trying to undo something is 733 00:27:01,110 --> 00:26:59,039 impossible actually 734 00:27:04,149 --> 00:27:01,120 if i told you right now 735 00:27:06,950 --> 00:27:04,159 um a good friend of yours just got into 736 00:27:09,029 --> 00:27:06,960 an accident 737 00:27:11,110 --> 00:27:09,039 what would that trigger for you i feel 738 00:27:12,470 --> 00:27:11,120 anxious 739 00:27:14,070 --> 00:27:12,480 and 740 00:27:16,549 --> 00:27:14,080 worried 741 00:27:18,310 --> 00:27:16,559 could you undo that 742 00:27:19,029 --> 00:27:18,320 i don't know some of the buddhists say 743 00:27:21,269 --> 00:27:19,039 that 744 00:27:23,669 --> 00:27:21,279 with enough mindfulness training one can 745 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:23,679 get to a point where 746 00:27:27,350 --> 00:27:25,520 stimuluses no longer provoke you at 747 00:27:29,430 --> 00:27:27,360 least not to the same degree 748 00:27:31,510 --> 00:27:29,440 i've seen some video online of a monk 749 00:27:33,669 --> 00:27:31,520 self-alighting so setting oneself a 750 00:27:35,190 --> 00:27:33,679 light it's calmly and then just dying i 751 00:27:38,310 --> 00:27:35,200 don't know how the 752 00:27:44,390 --> 00:27:39,990 so 753 00:27:47,430 --> 00:27:44,400 what you learn is 754 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:47,440 how to respond to these things in new 755 00:27:51,430 --> 00:27:48,720 ways 756 00:27:53,269 --> 00:27:51,440 it's not that they stop showing up 757 00:27:56,310 --> 00:27:53,279 they still show up 758 00:27:58,149 --> 00:27:56,320 but when they show up and you're not as 759 00:28:00,310 --> 00:27:58,159 consumed by it 760 00:28:02,630 --> 00:28:00,320 your attention is not so narrowly 761 00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:02,640 focused on it 762 00:28:07,350 --> 00:28:05,360 it doesn't have as much of an impact on 763 00:28:08,470 --> 00:28:07,360 you right 764 00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:08,480 so 765 00:28:12,789 --> 00:28:09,760 if i'm 766 00:28:14,310 --> 00:28:12,799 so i see this for example in a lot of my 767 00:28:16,549 --> 00:28:14,320 pain patients or 768 00:28:17,350 --> 00:28:16,559 my chronic medical condition patients 769 00:28:19,909 --> 00:28:17,360 like 770 00:28:23,269 --> 00:28:19,919 their life has been so 771 00:28:25,190 --> 00:28:23,279 fixated on the medical condition on the 772 00:28:27,269 --> 00:28:25,200 pain on 773 00:28:30,070 --> 00:28:27,279 you know getting things you know getting 774 00:28:31,909 --> 00:28:30,080 the right meds getting this getting that 775 00:28:35,110 --> 00:28:31,919 that they've lost track of the rest of 776 00:28:36,870 --> 00:28:35,120 their life and they're depressed 777 00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:36,880 they're not focused on their family as 778 00:28:40,389 --> 00:28:38,640 much they're not focused on their career 779 00:28:42,950 --> 00:28:40,399 as much they're not focused on things 780 00:28:46,389 --> 00:28:42,960 that bring them joy 781 00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:46,399 it's like they're narrowly fixated on 782 00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:48,720 one aspect of their life which is the 783 00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:51,039 condition or the illness or the 784 00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:54,559 medical problem and i'm saying step back 785 00:28:58,789 --> 00:28:57,120 and recognize that there is more to you 786 00:29:00,389 --> 00:28:58,799 than that 787 00:29:02,310 --> 00:29:00,399 but if this is the only part you're 788 00:29:05,350 --> 00:29:02,320 going to fixate on of course it's going 789 00:29:08,149 --> 00:29:05,360 to like consume you 790 00:29:10,870 --> 00:29:08,159 and paradoxically occur 791 00:29:13,269 --> 00:29:10,880 the more you open up your life 792 00:29:14,870 --> 00:29:13,279 and do things like these patients with 793 00:29:16,950 --> 00:29:14,880 medical conditions 794 00:29:19,510 --> 00:29:16,960 when they stop fixating just on the 795 00:29:21,029 --> 00:29:19,520 medical condition and start doing other 796 00:29:23,830 --> 00:29:21,039 things again 797 00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:23,840 paradoxically the pain goes down 798 00:29:29,590 --> 00:29:26,640 it's the same thing with anxiety 799 00:29:32,310 --> 00:29:29,600 when you start engaging in life more 800 00:29:33,830 --> 00:29:32,320 and you allow the anxiety to be there 801 00:29:36,909 --> 00:29:33,840 without it being kind of the thing that 802 00:29:39,909 --> 00:29:36,919 drives whether you do something or not 803 00:29:41,269 --> 00:29:39,919 paradoxically the anxiety goes down a 804 00:29:42,549 --> 00:29:41,279 question that occurred to me is when you 805 00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:42,559 were mentioning that you were feeling 806 00:29:46,230 --> 00:29:44,559 anxiety and by the way i i'm extremely 807 00:29:48,070 --> 00:29:46,240 nervous generally when i'm doing these 808 00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:48,080 interviews as well 809 00:29:51,830 --> 00:29:49,840 and also being interviewed for sure and 810 00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:51,840 extreme oh my god i don't i generally 811 00:29:54,389 --> 00:29:53,279 say no to people interviewing me so i 812 00:29:56,149 --> 00:29:54,399 don't have as much courage as you 813 00:29:58,149 --> 00:29:56,159 perhaps i should muster some what 814 00:30:00,549 --> 00:29:58,159 occurred to me was does this technique 815 00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:00,559 can i say something sure sure 816 00:30:04,389 --> 00:30:01,760 perhaps 817 00:30:06,950 --> 00:30:04,399 you will choose to muster some you don't 818 00:30:10,310 --> 00:30:06,960 have to do anything right it's 819 00:30:11,190 --> 00:30:10,320 even that subtle comment about perhaps i 820 00:30:13,510 --> 00:30:11,200 should 821 00:30:15,590 --> 00:30:13,520 you don't have to do anything 822 00:30:18,630 --> 00:30:15,600 do you choose to is there something 823 00:30:21,430 --> 00:30:18,640 about it that matters to you in that 824 00:30:24,710 --> 00:30:21,440 it's a very different experience to say 825 00:30:25,830 --> 00:30:24,720 i have to do this versus i'm choosing 826 00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:25,840 this 827 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:27,919 willingly 828 00:30:31,269 --> 00:30:28,880 even 829 00:30:32,549 --> 00:30:31,279 if it's going to elicit anxiety in me 830 00:30:34,230 --> 00:30:32,559 that's great that may help me in the 831 00:30:35,190 --> 00:30:34,240 future or i may choose to allow that to 832 00:30:37,190 --> 00:30:35,200 help me in the future i don't know 833 00:30:39,269 --> 00:30:37,200 what's the right response to that but 834 00:30:41,190 --> 00:30:39,279 regardless where i was getting it was 835 00:30:44,230 --> 00:30:41,200 does this technique simply allow you to 836 00:30:45,909 --> 00:30:44,240 cope or does it ameliorate the anxiety 837 00:30:48,830 --> 00:30:45,919 because those are two different issues 838 00:30:52,630 --> 00:30:48,840 yeah absolutely they are and 839 00:30:55,830 --> 00:30:52,640 um that's the paradox of this 840 00:30:59,830 --> 00:30:55,840 although act does not aim 841 00:31:04,230 --> 00:31:02,549 it's asking you to willingly sit with so 842 00:31:07,350 --> 00:31:04,240 that's the term i use instead of 843 00:31:10,149 --> 00:31:07,360 acceptance because i'll tell you why 844 00:31:13,430 --> 00:31:10,159 if i'm willing to have the anxiety 845 00:31:14,470 --> 00:31:13,440 that's instead of acceptance if i'm 846 00:31:17,510 --> 00:31:14,480 willing 847 00:31:20,710 --> 00:31:17,520 to have the anxiety in service of 848 00:31:23,029 --> 00:31:20,720 something that matters to me right 849 00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:23,039 that's the goal the goal is me being 850 00:31:27,430 --> 00:31:25,360 willing to experience something 851 00:31:29,990 --> 00:31:27,440 difficult because it's in service of 852 00:31:33,630 --> 00:31:30,000 something that matters 853 00:31:36,950 --> 00:31:33,640 but when i do that repeatedly 854 00:31:39,269 --> 00:31:36,960 paradoxically my anxiety goes down 855 00:31:41,590 --> 00:31:39,279 it's not the goal the goal is not to 856 00:31:43,590 --> 00:31:41,600 reduce my anxiety the goal is 857 00:31:44,789 --> 00:31:43,600 for me to live a life that's meaningful 858 00:31:46,549 --> 00:31:44,799 and rich 859 00:31:49,830 --> 00:31:46,559 but what's paradoxical and what all the 860 00:31:51,669 --> 00:31:49,840 research is showing is that 861 00:31:53,990 --> 00:31:51,679 when you do that 862 00:31:55,590 --> 00:31:54,000 actually anxiety goes down 863 00:31:58,070 --> 00:31:55,600 and i'll give you examples from my 864 00:32:00,630 --> 00:31:58,080 studies because so i'm funded by the 865 00:32:01,669 --> 00:32:00,640 national institutes of health and the va 866 00:32:08,230 --> 00:32:01,679 department 867 00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:08,240 and nih and the va 868 00:32:13,990 --> 00:32:11,039 for a long time has focused on symptom 869 00:32:15,669 --> 00:32:14,000 reduction right so when i apply for 870 00:32:17,909 --> 00:32:15,679 grants i say 871 00:32:20,950 --> 00:32:17,919 i'm going to do this act intervention 872 00:32:23,590 --> 00:32:20,960 and i'm going to explore whether this 873 00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:23,600 reduces depression and anxiety 874 00:32:27,590 --> 00:32:26,320 right i say that in the grant actually i 875 00:32:30,310 --> 00:32:27,600 want to make sure 876 00:32:32,789 --> 00:32:30,320 i reduce depression or anxiety 877 00:32:35,509 --> 00:32:32,799 but when i'm actually in the treatment 878 00:32:37,509 --> 00:32:35,519 actually doing the treatment i don't say 879 00:32:39,509 --> 00:32:37,519 that ever 880 00:32:41,590 --> 00:32:39,519 not once do i say 881 00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:41,600 okay you know you guys 882 00:32:44,710 --> 00:32:43,440 met criteria for depression which they 883 00:32:47,269 --> 00:32:44,720 all do 884 00:32:49,669 --> 00:32:47,279 to be in the study for example and my 885 00:32:50,630 --> 00:32:49,679 goal is for you not to meet criteria i 886 00:32:53,190 --> 00:32:50,640 never 887 00:32:54,789 --> 00:32:53,200 say anything about that 888 00:32:56,789 --> 00:32:54,799 it's it's a 889 00:32:59,750 --> 00:32:56,799 political decision it's a funding 890 00:33:02,549 --> 00:32:59,760 decision that i put it as the outcome 891 00:33:04,230 --> 00:33:02,559 but paradoxically the intervention even 892 00:33:06,389 --> 00:33:04,240 though i never talk about reducing 893 00:33:08,230 --> 00:33:06,399 anxiety and depression 894 00:33:10,549 --> 00:33:08,240 i talk about helping them live a rich 895 00:33:12,710 --> 00:33:10,559 and meaningful life and to let them 896 00:33:14,230 --> 00:33:12,720 explore their emotions and not be afraid 897 00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:14,240 of them 898 00:33:19,750 --> 00:33:17,440 but most of my studies i have found 899 00:33:22,310 --> 00:33:19,760 significant reductions in depression and 900 00:33:24,549 --> 00:33:22,320 an anxiety and improvements in meaning 901 00:33:26,870 --> 00:33:24,559 and purpose 902 00:33:28,070 --> 00:33:26,880 is that too complicated no no so first 903 00:33:30,070 --> 00:33:28,080 there are quite a few thoughts that 904 00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:30,080 occur so one is we mentioned the eastern 905 00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:31,919 approach this to me sounds like the 906 00:33:35,350 --> 00:33:33,440 merging of the western approach of 907 00:33:36,470 --> 00:33:35,360 bearing one's cross so it doesn't matter 908 00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:36,480 that you're going to feel the suffering 909 00:33:39,029 --> 00:33:37,760 you do it anyway because there's a 910 00:33:40,389 --> 00:33:39,039 higher value 911 00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:40,399 and then the other thought that occurs 912 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:43,200 to me is that it's extremely interesting 913 00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:45,120 how often that happens in different 914 00:33:49,430 --> 00:33:47,600 aspects of life where if your aim is to 915 00:33:50,789 --> 00:33:49,440 reduce something or to attain something 916 00:33:52,389 --> 00:33:50,799 you don't get it 917 00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:52,399 but if you take a route where you're not 918 00:33:56,549 --> 00:33:54,000 supposed to care about what you want you 919 00:33:58,310 --> 00:33:56,559 end up getting it so for example with in 920 00:33:59,669 --> 00:33:58,320 relationships if you desperately want 921 00:34:01,990 --> 00:33:59,679 that person you try to please them you 922 00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:02,000 end up not doing so and if you are in 923 00:34:05,830 --> 00:34:04,720 business and you try to get money often 924 00:34:08,550 --> 00:34:05,840 it doesn't work out you have to be 925 00:34:09,909 --> 00:34:08,560 passionate about the product and so 926 00:34:11,829 --> 00:34:09,919 it's just interesting how that work you 927 00:34:13,990 --> 00:34:11,839 don't get what you want by trying to get 928 00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:14,000 what you want 929 00:34:18,550 --> 00:34:16,480 well i think what you're describing is 930 00:34:19,470 --> 00:34:18,560 the difference between 931 00:34:21,190 --> 00:34:19,480 being 932 00:34:23,589 --> 00:34:21,200 goal-oriented 933 00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:23,599 versus value-oriented 934 00:34:29,190 --> 00:34:25,440 right 935 00:34:30,230 --> 00:34:29,200 let's say my goal is to get into medical 936 00:34:32,230 --> 00:34:30,240 school 937 00:34:34,389 --> 00:34:32,240 and i'm like i need to get into medical 938 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:34,399 school no matter what you know pressure 939 00:34:38,869 --> 00:34:36,960 from family whatever it is like 940 00:34:41,349 --> 00:34:38,879 that's a goal i can check it off the 941 00:34:44,790 --> 00:34:41,359 list right 942 00:34:47,589 --> 00:34:44,800 but what's the value behind that 943 00:34:50,310 --> 00:34:47,599 is it to help people is it to you know 944 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:50,320 is it a selflessness thing what is the 945 00:34:54,950 --> 00:34:51,599 value 946 00:34:57,910 --> 00:34:54,960 behind getting into medical school 947 00:34:59,349 --> 00:34:57,920 and if you if you focus on that 948 00:35:00,829 --> 00:34:59,359 then let's say you don't get into 949 00:35:02,790 --> 00:35:00,839 medical school 950 00:35:04,630 --> 00:35:02,800 right 951 00:35:06,710 --> 00:35:04,640 then you say well what was the value 952 00:35:08,710 --> 00:35:06,720 behind that was the value behind that 953 00:35:11,349 --> 00:35:08,720 helping people 954 00:35:13,510 --> 00:35:11,359 are there other ways that i can help 955 00:35:15,829 --> 00:35:13,520 people there are many other ways that 956 00:35:17,670 --> 00:35:15,839 you can help people right you can go to 957 00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:17,680 pa school you can go to nursing school 958 00:35:21,270 --> 00:35:18,560 you can 959 00:35:22,390 --> 00:35:21,280 join a non-profit that focuses on these 960 00:35:24,310 --> 00:35:22,400 things 961 00:35:26,150 --> 00:35:24,320 and so 962 00:35:29,510 --> 00:35:26,160 when you're focused 963 00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:29,520 when when your values are clear 964 00:35:34,470 --> 00:35:32,640 then you're more about the process 965 00:35:36,150 --> 00:35:34,480 you're more about 966 00:35:38,950 --> 00:35:36,160 the experience 967 00:35:40,710 --> 00:35:38,960 versus if you're goal oriented you just 968 00:35:41,750 --> 00:35:40,720 want to get there and check it off the 969 00:35:45,589 --> 00:35:41,760 list 970 00:35:47,430 --> 00:35:45,599 you're like well what's next 971 00:35:49,109 --> 00:35:47,440 let me say in other words and let me 972 00:35:50,550 --> 00:35:49,119 know if this is correct so that i make 973 00:35:52,630 --> 00:35:50,560 sure that we're on the same page goal 974 00:35:55,510 --> 00:35:52,640 versus values is akin to when sometimes 975 00:35:57,349 --> 00:35:55,520 people say you shouldn't be 976 00:35:59,030 --> 00:35:57,359 objective oriented versus process 977 00:36:00,710 --> 00:35:59,040 oriented 978 00:36:02,470 --> 00:36:00,720 is it akin to that or is that different 979 00:36:04,390 --> 00:36:02,480 that's it's kind of similar yeah it's 980 00:36:05,510 --> 00:36:04,400 very similar okay so that's a great 981 00:36:07,349 --> 00:36:05,520 question right there are you coming up 982 00:36:08,550 --> 00:36:07,359 with them are you realizing them so are 983 00:36:10,390 --> 00:36:08,560 you making them 984 00:36:12,069 --> 00:36:10,400 are you uncovering what was there anyway 985 00:36:14,790 --> 00:36:12,079 that's a sub question that doesn't sound 986 00:36:16,550 --> 00:36:14,800 like an easy process so how can you help 987 00:36:17,589 --> 00:36:16,560 someone through that process what tips 988 00:36:19,430 --> 00:36:17,599 do you have 989 00:36:22,069 --> 00:36:19,440 for people to realize their own values 990 00:36:23,670 --> 00:36:22,079 in the example you gave the 991 00:36:24,870 --> 00:36:23,680 potential was that i want to help people 992 00:36:26,550 --> 00:36:24,880 that's why i want to go to medical 993 00:36:27,990 --> 00:36:26,560 school but it also may just be i want 994 00:36:29,829 --> 00:36:28,000 the status but i think i want to help 995 00:36:31,270 --> 00:36:29,839 people or i want the money but i think i 996 00:36:33,030 --> 00:36:31,280 want to help people or actually this was 997 00:36:34,710 --> 00:36:33,040 instilled in me as a child and it's 998 00:36:36,150 --> 00:36:34,720 actually not my own i don't even care 999 00:36:37,670 --> 00:36:36,160 but that takes to me that sounds like 1000 00:36:39,829 --> 00:36:37,680 that may take months or even years of 1001 00:36:43,270 --> 00:36:39,839 therapy so how does one streamline that 1002 00:36:45,349 --> 00:36:43,280 approach to get to one's values 1003 00:36:47,109 --> 00:36:45,359 that's a really good question and i 1004 00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:47,119 actually struggled with this 1005 00:36:52,550 --> 00:36:49,760 for a long time actually like 1006 00:36:54,550 --> 00:36:52,560 you know it seemed like such a broad 1007 00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:54,560 question to me like what are your values 1008 00:36:58,310 --> 00:36:55,760 well 1009 00:37:01,109 --> 00:36:58,320 it's tough right um 1010 00:37:03,030 --> 00:37:01,119 and i remember like having this aha 1011 00:37:03,990 --> 00:37:03,040 moment you know 1012 00:37:05,349 --> 00:37:04,000 and 1013 00:37:08,630 --> 00:37:05,359 well there are many ways to get to it 1014 00:37:11,109 --> 00:37:08,640 but i had this aha moment which broke 1015 00:37:12,870 --> 00:37:11,119 down values into like 1016 00:37:14,950 --> 00:37:12,880 how do i want to be 1017 00:37:17,270 --> 00:37:14,960 in this moment 1018 00:37:18,950 --> 00:37:17,280 how do i want to be like okay i'm with 1019 00:37:22,310 --> 00:37:18,960 you right now kurt 1020 00:37:24,950 --> 00:37:22,320 so i check in with myself and i say what 1021 00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:24,960 do i want to be how do i want to be in 1022 00:37:30,230 --> 00:37:28,720 this moment with this person you know 1023 00:37:32,790 --> 00:37:30,240 so it makes it a little bit more 1024 00:37:34,630 --> 00:37:32,800 concrete to me you know 1025 00:37:36,230 --> 00:37:34,640 but it's also that 1026 00:37:37,910 --> 00:37:36,240 but it also needs to be a little bit 1027 00:37:40,870 --> 00:37:37,920 more broad and i'll give you a very 1028 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:40,880 personal example from my life like 1029 00:37:47,109 --> 00:37:45,440 um so i'm you know i'm a working mother 1030 00:37:48,470 --> 00:37:47,119 and 1031 00:37:51,990 --> 00:37:48,480 balancing 1032 00:37:53,270 --> 00:37:52,000 my career with being the kind of mother 1033 00:37:56,630 --> 00:37:53,280 i want to be 1034 00:37:57,670 --> 00:37:56,640 can be very challenging you know 1035 00:38:00,550 --> 00:37:57,680 and so 1036 00:38:02,310 --> 00:38:00,560 for example i go to work let's say from 1037 00:38:05,589 --> 00:38:02,320 eight to five 1038 00:38:07,270 --> 00:38:05,599 and as i get up off my desk 1039 00:38:09,990 --> 00:38:07,280 um kurt 1040 00:38:12,069 --> 00:38:10,000 and i'm walking out the door right 1041 00:38:13,349 --> 00:38:12,079 there's a lot of anxiety 1042 00:38:15,670 --> 00:38:13,359 because 1043 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:15,680 my colleagues are still there i still 1044 00:38:19,670 --> 00:38:17,839 have a lot of things on my to-do list 1045 00:38:20,550 --> 00:38:19,680 right i have a lot of things on my to-do 1046 00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:20,560 list 1047 00:38:26,870 --> 00:38:23,680 my career is very important to me 1048 00:38:28,790 --> 00:38:26,880 um and so when i get up at 5 00 pm to 1049 00:38:30,310 --> 00:38:28,800 leave and all my colleagues are still 1050 00:38:31,670 --> 00:38:30,320 there and my boss is still there and i 1051 00:38:33,349 --> 00:38:31,680 still have a lot of things on my 1052 00:38:35,910 --> 00:38:33,359 checklist 1053 00:38:37,109 --> 00:38:35,920 i'm anxious 1054 00:38:39,829 --> 00:38:37,119 and 1055 00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:39,839 i connect with 1056 00:38:48,150 --> 00:38:43,680 the value of what i want to be as a mom 1057 00:38:50,310 --> 00:38:48,160 and i want to be a mom that's available 1058 00:38:51,349 --> 00:38:50,320 for a certain number of hours every 1059 00:38:53,349 --> 00:38:51,359 night 1060 00:38:56,150 --> 00:38:53,359 with few exceptions 1061 00:38:59,109 --> 00:38:56,160 because that matters to me 1062 00:39:01,750 --> 00:38:59,119 so i carry the anxiety i have about my 1063 00:39:03,190 --> 00:39:01,760 career but what helps me walk out the 1064 00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:03,200 door 1065 00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:06,320 is see is kind of knowing that my son is 1066 00:39:12,790 --> 00:39:09,760 on the other side right 1067 00:39:14,870 --> 00:39:12,800 so sometimes it's just a matter of like 1068 00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:14,880 you know filling out questionnaires or 1069 00:39:18,870 --> 00:39:17,200 like just you know people asking you 1070 00:39:21,109 --> 00:39:18,880 certain questions about what are your 1071 00:39:23,349 --> 00:39:21,119 priorities in life right 1072 00:39:26,310 --> 00:39:23,359 but i see a lot of people just 1073 00:39:29,109 --> 00:39:26,320 on automatic pilot right on automatic 1074 00:39:30,470 --> 00:39:29,119 pilot doing things like they always have 1075 00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:30,480 staying at work 1076 00:39:34,710 --> 00:39:32,880 long hours barely seeing their parent 1077 00:39:36,630 --> 00:39:34,720 you know their children 1078 00:39:39,430 --> 00:39:36,640 and they say 1079 00:39:42,550 --> 00:39:39,440 they say like for example the patient 1080 00:39:44,470 --> 00:39:42,560 that like works double shifts 1081 00:39:46,150 --> 00:39:44,480 then goes to the bar 1082 00:39:48,069 --> 00:39:46,160 takes out a picture of his children and 1083 00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:48,079 shows the people at the bar like here's 1084 00:39:54,790 --> 00:39:52,560 my child and love my child so so much 1085 00:39:56,790 --> 00:39:54,800 goes home hungover 1086 00:39:59,270 --> 00:39:56,800 and when the kid comes to talk to him 1087 00:40:01,430 --> 00:39:59,280 pushes him away like no no not now i'm 1088 00:40:05,030 --> 00:40:01,440 hungover 1089 00:40:06,790 --> 00:40:05,040 we can talk about what matters 1090 00:40:09,349 --> 00:40:06,800 right i can say 1091 00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:09,359 my son matters i can say 1092 00:40:13,670 --> 00:40:11,520 my parents matter to me 1093 00:40:16,390 --> 00:40:13,680 my sister matters to me 1094 00:40:18,470 --> 00:40:16,400 but if i don't put it into an action 1095 00:40:20,950 --> 00:40:18,480 it means nothing 1096 00:40:23,190 --> 00:40:20,960 it doesn't mean anything 1097 00:40:25,510 --> 00:40:23,200 and so 1098 00:40:27,510 --> 00:40:25,520 let me give you another example sure 1099 00:40:28,710 --> 00:40:27,520 kur if i asked you 1100 00:40:31,670 --> 00:40:28,720 if i said 1101 00:40:33,589 --> 00:40:31,680 there's a building on fire outside and i 1102 00:40:35,510 --> 00:40:33,599 want you to run into it 1103 00:40:36,630 --> 00:40:35,520 what would you say to me 1104 00:40:37,990 --> 00:40:36,640 no no 1105 00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:38,000 thank you you would say no appreciate 1106 00:40:41,829 --> 00:40:39,200 that 1107 00:40:44,470 --> 00:40:41,839 thanks for the offer yeah yeah 1108 00:40:47,510 --> 00:40:44,480 what if i said to you 1109 00:40:48,790 --> 00:40:47,520 a loved one you have is in that building 1110 00:40:55,349 --> 00:40:48,800 yeah 1111 00:40:56,710 --> 00:40:55,359 wife i'll go in a second 1112 00:40:59,990 --> 00:40:56,720 okay 1113 00:41:02,069 --> 00:41:00,000 it shifted from an automatic no 1114 00:41:04,069 --> 00:41:02,079 to an automatic yes 1115 00:41:07,109 --> 00:41:04,079 because there was the why 1116 00:41:09,270 --> 00:41:07,119 the question is why would i go in there 1117 00:41:12,710 --> 00:41:09,280 what would be the purpose 1118 00:41:13,829 --> 00:41:12,720 and the purpose is your partner right 1119 00:41:15,670 --> 00:41:13,839 right 1120 00:41:17,990 --> 00:41:15,680 and so when you're is it going to be 1121 00:41:19,589 --> 00:41:18,000 easy is it going to be non-threatening 1122 00:41:20,870 --> 00:41:19,599 it's going to be awfully hard and it's 1123 00:41:22,470 --> 00:41:20,880 going to be life 1124 00:41:26,069 --> 00:41:22,480 threatening right 1125 00:41:27,990 --> 00:41:26,079 and yet you are willing 1126 00:41:31,109 --> 00:41:28,000 to experience 1127 00:41:33,910 --> 00:41:31,119 the fear the dread the anxiety that it's 1128 00:41:35,270 --> 00:41:33,920 going to take to get into that building 1129 00:41:37,109 --> 00:41:35,280 because there's something there that 1130 00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:37,119 matters to you 1131 00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:38,640 so that's 1132 00:41:42,950 --> 00:41:40,800 the acceptance piece acceptance is not 1133 00:41:45,109 --> 00:41:42,960 just saying oh okay i accept i accept 1134 00:41:48,309 --> 00:41:45,119 you know what i feel here 1135 00:41:51,349 --> 00:41:48,319 it's that i'm willing to feel what there 1136 00:41:53,190 --> 00:41:51,359 is as i move towards something that 1137 00:41:55,510 --> 00:41:53,200 scares me 1138 00:41:57,430 --> 00:41:55,520 earlier we had a little discussion about 1139 00:41:59,910 --> 00:41:57,440 should versus values and you were saying 1140 00:42:02,870 --> 00:41:59,920 kurt talk well we didn't explicitly have 1141 00:42:04,790 --> 00:42:02,880 this discussion but you said perhaps you 1142 00:42:06,150 --> 00:42:04,800 shouldn't think in terms of should i 1143 00:42:08,230 --> 00:42:06,160 know that's paradoxical but you 1144 00:42:11,430 --> 00:42:08,240 understand what i mean that in terms of 1145 00:42:13,829 --> 00:42:11,440 thinking of choice it's better and i'm 1146 00:42:16,550 --> 00:42:13,839 unclear how values don't imply it should 1147 00:42:18,390 --> 00:42:16,560 so if you have a high value 1148 00:42:20,309 --> 00:42:18,400 to me a should comes in 1149 00:42:21,910 --> 00:42:20,319 because it's you're doing what's right 1150 00:42:24,550 --> 00:42:21,920 now it's what you're saying that the 1151 00:42:26,550 --> 00:42:24,560 value is somehow internal and the shirt 1152 00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:26,560 is somehow external and it should come 1153 00:42:31,349 --> 00:42:29,760 from should it should come from you or 1154 00:42:33,190 --> 00:42:31,359 i it's a bit difficult for me to say 1155 00:42:34,790 --> 00:42:33,200 without using the word should so yeah 1156 00:42:36,550 --> 00:42:34,800 hopefully you understand the question i 1157 00:42:38,870 --> 00:42:36,560 mean it could be just an issue of 1158 00:42:42,309 --> 00:42:38,880 linguistics right like it could be just 1159 00:42:44,950 --> 00:42:42,319 the terminology we're using but 1160 00:42:47,829 --> 00:42:44,960 values are freely chosen 1161 00:42:50,950 --> 00:42:47,839 from from an act perspective values are 1162 00:42:53,109 --> 00:42:50,960 freely chosen it's not what 1163 00:42:55,910 --> 00:42:53,119 our parents tell us 1164 00:42:57,589 --> 00:42:55,920 we should want it's not what i feel 1165 00:43:00,150 --> 00:42:57,599 society 1166 00:43:03,430 --> 00:43:00,160 wants me to say right 1167 00:43:04,870 --> 00:43:03,440 in the definition of values it is freely 1168 00:43:07,990 --> 00:43:04,880 chosen 1169 00:43:09,030 --> 00:43:08,000 and one indication 1170 00:43:11,750 --> 00:43:09,040 that 1171 00:43:13,750 --> 00:43:11,760 someone is not living a life 1172 00:43:14,630 --> 00:43:13,760 that's consistent with kind of what they 1173 00:43:17,109 --> 00:43:14,640 want 1174 00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:17,119 is there's a lack of vitality like you 1175 00:43:23,109 --> 00:43:20,800 don't sense vitality in what 1176 00:43:25,510 --> 00:43:23,119 someone is doing right 1177 00:43:28,870 --> 00:43:25,520 it feels more like it's 1178 00:43:30,950 --> 00:43:28,880 being imposed that it's like i have to 1179 00:43:32,870 --> 00:43:30,960 do this right or 1180 00:43:34,390 --> 00:43:32,880 i don't want to be doing this or you're 1181 00:43:37,270 --> 00:43:34,400 just not 1182 00:43:39,510 --> 00:43:37,280 you're not vitalized right 1183 00:43:41,030 --> 00:43:39,520 so back to my example with work 1184 00:43:42,950 --> 00:43:41,040 sometimes i feel like giving personal 1185 00:43:43,990 --> 00:43:42,960 examples helps if it's too much tell me 1186 00:43:46,309 --> 00:43:44,000 but like 1187 00:43:47,990 --> 00:43:46,319 no the more personal the better 1188 00:43:50,550 --> 00:43:48,000 you know every time i get really 1189 00:43:52,950 --> 00:43:50,560 frustrated with my job 1190 00:43:56,470 --> 00:43:52,960 with my work with my career 1191 00:43:58,390 --> 00:43:56,480 i step back and i ask 1192 00:44:00,870 --> 00:43:58,400 do i choose this 1193 00:44:03,349 --> 00:44:00,880 no one's forcing me to do this work i 1194 00:44:05,990 --> 00:44:03,359 don't have to do this work 1195 00:44:08,710 --> 00:44:06,000 do i choose this work 1196 00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:08,720 and that helps me a lot with the full 1197 00:44:14,150 --> 00:44:11,760 recognition that i choose a package 1198 00:44:15,750 --> 00:44:14,160 that i can't just choose the things i 1199 00:44:16,550 --> 00:44:15,760 like 1200 00:44:18,470 --> 00:44:16,560 and 1201 00:44:20,630 --> 00:44:18,480 throw away the things i don't like 1202 00:44:22,470 --> 00:44:20,640 because everything we have in our life 1203 00:44:23,910 --> 00:44:22,480 is a package of 1204 00:44:25,670 --> 00:44:23,920 you know the things you like and then 1205 00:44:27,109 --> 00:44:25,680 the things that you have to do because 1206 00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:27,119 you know it's part of the broader 1207 00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:28,240 package 1208 00:44:31,910 --> 00:44:29,680 so maybe that's kind of what you're 1209 00:44:33,829 --> 00:44:31,920 talking about with this should like okay 1210 00:44:36,150 --> 00:44:33,839 doing this work i really have to write 1211 00:44:38,710 --> 00:44:36,160 certain notes and i have to like do all 1212 00:44:39,670 --> 00:44:38,720 this bureaucratic crap bureaucratic 1213 00:44:42,630 --> 00:44:39,680 stuff 1214 00:44:48,390 --> 00:44:46,069 that said do i choose the package 1215 00:44:50,710 --> 00:44:48,400 that this as a package 1216 00:44:52,550 --> 00:44:50,720 is something i care about 1217 00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:52,560 that working with these patients doing 1218 00:44:57,349 --> 00:44:55,119 this research makes this other tough 1219 00:44:59,109 --> 00:44:57,359 stuff worthwhile 1220 00:45:00,630 --> 00:44:59,119 interesting 1221 00:45:02,630 --> 00:45:00,640 one of the reasons i was bringing that 1222 00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:02,640 up is because 1223 00:45:07,190 --> 00:45:05,280 i know there's a heavy emphasis on an 1224 00:45:09,190 --> 00:45:07,200 internal locus of control it's called 1225 00:45:11,190 --> 00:45:09,200 internal locus of control i believe 1226 00:45:13,750 --> 00:45:11,200 and then that to me sounds like to get 1227 00:45:14,870 --> 00:45:13,760 philosophical like the humanist movement 1228 00:45:16,630 --> 00:45:14,880 and then 1229 00:45:18,390 --> 00:45:16,640 that stands in contrast to religious 1230 00:45:20,069 --> 00:45:18,400 movements especially of the west 1231 00:45:21,670 --> 00:45:20,079 where the west is more about there are 1232 00:45:24,230 --> 00:45:21,680 some commandments you should follow you 1233 00:45:26,950 --> 00:45:24,240 need to follow but then to many people 1234 00:45:28,870 --> 00:45:26,960 their religion is what they value so 1235 00:45:30,950 --> 00:45:28,880 their value comes with the shoulds in 1236 00:45:33,270 --> 00:45:30,960 that case and then our is one to say 1237 00:45:34,870 --> 00:45:33,280 well if you're christian or if you're 1238 00:45:36,870 --> 00:45:34,880 muslim or jewish because those are the 1239 00:45:38,150 --> 00:45:36,880 western traditions if you're those then 1240 00:45:39,829 --> 00:45:38,160 perhaps 1241 00:45:42,390 --> 00:45:39,839 you need to abandon your religion in 1242 00:45:43,510 --> 00:45:42,400 order to properly apply act therapies 1243 00:45:45,030 --> 00:45:43,520 that you have the internal locus of 1244 00:45:46,710 --> 00:45:45,040 control it comes from you it doesn't 1245 00:45:47,829 --> 00:45:46,720 come from god you choose it no i don't 1246 00:45:48,710 --> 00:45:47,839 think that was what was lurking 1247 00:45:52,150 --> 00:45:48,720 underneath 1248 00:45:55,829 --> 00:45:52,160 i don't think so i think if you choose 1249 00:45:57,430 --> 00:45:55,839 a spiritual like a spiritual tradition 1250 00:45:59,510 --> 00:45:57,440 you're choosing that you're choosing the 1251 00:46:01,670 --> 00:45:59,520 past right it's like stepping 1252 00:46:03,670 --> 00:46:01,680 yeah again like you're you're talking 1253 00:46:05,190 --> 00:46:03,680 again about a very concrete thing that's 1254 00:46:07,670 --> 00:46:05,200 like more goal 1255 00:46:08,550 --> 00:46:07,680 like that okay so i'm going to church 1256 00:46:10,470 --> 00:46:08,560 check 1257 00:46:11,589 --> 00:46:10,480 right that's a goal i'm going to go to 1258 00:46:14,309 --> 00:46:11,599 church 1259 00:46:15,829 --> 00:46:14,319 check and goals can be very valuable to 1260 00:46:16,710 --> 00:46:15,839 like tell you if you're on the right 1261 00:46:19,510 --> 00:46:16,720 path 1262 00:46:22,390 --> 00:46:19,520 towards something you value right 1263 00:46:24,870 --> 00:46:22,400 but the broader value if someone is 1264 00:46:26,870 --> 00:46:24,880 you know maybe religious now some of 1265 00:46:29,030 --> 00:46:26,880 them are of course some people are doing 1266 00:46:30,470 --> 00:46:29,040 it out of compliance right 1267 00:46:34,150 --> 00:46:30,480 absolutely 1268 00:46:35,430 --> 00:46:34,160 doing it because spirituality is a 1269 00:46:36,710 --> 00:46:35,440 broader 1270 00:46:39,510 --> 00:46:36,720 domain 1271 00:46:41,510 --> 00:46:39,520 is valuable and the specific 1272 00:46:43,190 --> 00:46:41,520 goal if you want or package that they 1273 00:46:45,349 --> 00:46:43,200 choose is 1274 00:46:46,710 --> 00:46:45,359 a christian or jewish or muslim right 1275 00:46:48,230 --> 00:46:46,720 like 1276 00:46:51,030 --> 00:46:48,240 the broader thing is that they are a 1277 00:46:54,230 --> 00:46:51,040 spiritual person and 1278 00:46:57,109 --> 00:46:54,240 that the goal they have is to fulfill 1279 00:46:59,430 --> 00:46:57,119 certain obligations within that 1280 00:47:02,710 --> 00:46:59,440 spiritual tradition it's like 1281 00:47:05,829 --> 00:47:02,720 me i love what i work or what i do 1282 00:47:07,750 --> 00:47:05,839 and as part of that i have to i 1283 00:47:09,270 --> 00:47:07,760 actually have to do certain things like 1284 00:47:11,990 --> 00:47:09,280 check you know i have to do certain 1285 00:47:14,230 --> 00:47:12,000 trainings i have to fill certain cmes so 1286 00:47:16,390 --> 00:47:14,240 on so forth some bureaucratic it's the 1287 00:47:18,069 --> 00:47:16,400 values part that's 1288 00:47:20,550 --> 00:47:18,079 that you don't have to 1289 00:47:22,470 --> 00:47:20,560 that you that that's chosen 1290 00:47:23,829 --> 00:47:22,480 the goals are the kind of the posts 1291 00:47:25,829 --> 00:47:23,839 along the way that you can say okay 1292 00:47:28,230 --> 00:47:25,839 check did that i know i'm on the right 1293 00:47:30,069 --> 00:47:28,240 track i understand yeah 1294 00:47:32,230 --> 00:47:30,079 what separates people 1295 00:47:33,990 --> 00:47:32,240 for who this works for 1296 00:47:36,230 --> 00:47:34,000 quickly or 1297 00:47:38,309 --> 00:47:36,240 plenty from those who 1298 00:47:40,230 --> 00:47:38,319 it takes a longer time to work for it 1299 00:47:42,550 --> 00:47:40,240 works less for is it their temperament 1300 00:47:44,470 --> 00:47:42,560 is it their attitude is it 1301 00:47:46,069 --> 00:47:44,480 the application of a certain technique 1302 00:47:47,270 --> 00:47:46,079 the amount that they stick with it for 1303 00:47:48,870 --> 00:47:47,280 example yeah 1304 00:47:51,030 --> 00:47:48,880 that's a really good question and i 1305 00:47:53,670 --> 00:47:51,040 think it's it's complex it's hard 1306 00:47:56,230 --> 00:47:53,680 because for decades 1307 00:47:58,790 --> 00:47:56,240 in our field we have been trying 1308 00:48:00,790 --> 00:47:58,800 to do these matching studies right where 1309 00:48:03,190 --> 00:48:00,800 okay we're gonna match this kind of 1310 00:48:05,190 --> 00:48:03,200 person with this kind of therapy 1311 00:48:06,630 --> 00:48:05,200 you know um 1312 00:48:08,230 --> 00:48:06,640 like this person would do better with 1313 00:48:09,829 --> 00:48:08,240 this therapy this person would do better 1314 00:48:11,349 --> 00:48:09,839 with this therapy and 1315 00:48:13,270 --> 00:48:11,359 despite 1316 00:48:15,510 --> 00:48:13,280 millions of dollars being you know 1317 00:48:17,109 --> 00:48:15,520 committed to this kind of research 1318 00:48:19,990 --> 00:48:17,119 we don't really have a good answer to 1319 00:48:21,910 --> 00:48:20,000 that question not just for act but for 1320 00:48:24,230 --> 00:48:21,920 really a lot of the therapies like we 1321 00:48:25,910 --> 00:48:24,240 have not been able to figure out what's 1322 00:48:27,589 --> 00:48:25,920 what's the thing that 1323 00:48:29,910 --> 00:48:27,599 you know matches people like why would 1324 00:48:32,150 --> 00:48:29,920 this work for someone 1325 00:48:33,589 --> 00:48:32,160 that said 1326 00:48:35,910 --> 00:48:33,599 in the meta-analysis of the 1327 00:48:37,750 --> 00:48:35,920 meta-analysis of act studies and some of 1328 00:48:41,670 --> 00:48:37,760 the comparison studies 1329 00:48:43,030 --> 00:48:41,680 what we know or what we found is that 1330 00:48:46,230 --> 00:48:43,040 people who have 1331 00:48:47,190 --> 00:48:46,240 suffered longer tend to do better in act 1332 00:48:49,349 --> 00:48:47,200 right 1333 00:48:50,630 --> 00:48:49,359 and people who have 1334 00:48:52,069 --> 00:48:50,640 complex 1335 00:48:54,309 --> 00:48:52,079 difficulties 1336 00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:54,319 tend to do better with act why do you 1337 00:49:00,309 --> 00:48:59,589 it's a good question 1338 00:49:02,150 --> 00:49:00,319 so 1339 00:49:06,069 --> 00:49:02,160 my thought on this and i don't know that 1340 00:49:10,790 --> 00:49:08,470 but in act there's a very key concept 1341 00:49:11,670 --> 00:49:10,800 called creative hopelessness 1342 00:49:14,549 --> 00:49:11,680 okay 1343 00:49:17,750 --> 00:49:14,559 and the idea behind creative 1344 00:49:20,710 --> 00:49:17,760 hopelessness is 1345 00:49:22,390 --> 00:49:20,720 okay like let's say you have anxiety 1346 00:49:24,790 --> 00:49:22,400 right 1347 00:49:26,470 --> 00:49:24,800 and i ask the person 1348 00:49:29,030 --> 00:49:26,480 who has anxiety 1349 00:49:31,990 --> 00:49:29,040 how long have you had this 1350 00:49:35,349 --> 00:49:32,000 and they'll say 15 years what have you 1351 00:49:38,790 --> 00:49:35,359 tried well i've tried alcohol 1352 00:49:40,230 --> 00:49:38,800 i've tried drugs i've tried medications 1353 00:49:41,430 --> 00:49:40,240 i've tried 1354 00:49:43,589 --> 00:49:41,440 avoiding 1355 00:49:46,390 --> 00:49:43,599 i've tried deep breathing 1356 00:49:47,109 --> 00:49:46,400 i've tried meditating like i've tried it 1357 00:49:50,630 --> 00:49:47,119 all 1358 00:49:52,950 --> 00:49:50,640 okay and how has that worked 1359 00:49:54,309 --> 00:49:52,960 um hasn't worked in terms of reducing 1360 00:49:55,270 --> 00:49:54,319 the anxiety 1361 00:49:57,270 --> 00:49:55,280 okay 1362 00:49:59,270 --> 00:49:57,280 and and how has it worked in terms of 1363 00:50:01,349 --> 00:49:59,280 like where you are with your life and 1364 00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:01,359 how big your life is 1365 00:50:04,470 --> 00:50:02,720 and they'll say 1366 00:50:06,549 --> 00:50:04,480 oh maybe 1367 00:50:08,230 --> 00:50:06,559 it's it's really kind of gotten smaller 1368 00:50:10,710 --> 00:50:08,240 in my life 1369 00:50:13,190 --> 00:50:10,720 so what we do with creative hopelessness 1370 00:50:15,750 --> 00:50:13,200 is explore with the person 1371 00:50:18,150 --> 00:50:15,760 how long they've had the problem 1372 00:50:20,069 --> 00:50:18,160 all the techniques they've used 1373 00:50:22,790 --> 00:50:20,079 and if they've gotten anywhere with 1374 00:50:23,510 --> 00:50:22,800 these techniques in the long term 1375 00:50:25,750 --> 00:50:23,520 and 1376 00:50:27,589 --> 00:50:25,760 what what what the result is is the 1377 00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:27,599 patient being like oh my gosh i've been 1378 00:50:31,190 --> 00:50:29,119 doing this for 1379 00:50:33,670 --> 00:50:31,200 years and years and years and i'm worse 1380 00:50:36,069 --> 00:50:33,680 off than when i started 1381 00:50:37,430 --> 00:50:36,079 this it's called creative hopelessness 1382 00:50:40,790 --> 00:50:37,440 because 1383 00:50:43,349 --> 00:50:40,800 there's a hopelessness to it but in that 1384 00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:43,359 moment it gives you the opportunity to 1385 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:46,319 say okay i think i need to try something 1386 00:50:49,829 --> 00:50:47,680 different 1387 00:50:51,910 --> 00:50:49,839 this has not worked 1388 00:50:53,990 --> 00:50:51,920 it's like it's like up in front of your 1389 00:50:55,990 --> 00:50:54,000 face that it has not been working you 1390 00:50:57,430 --> 00:50:56,000 know you've laid it out and that 1391 00:50:59,030 --> 00:50:57,440 everything you've been doing has not 1392 00:51:00,630 --> 00:50:59,040 been working 1393 00:51:03,109 --> 00:51:00,640 and so 1394 00:51:05,190 --> 00:51:03,119 the creative part is that there's this 1395 00:51:09,990 --> 00:51:05,200 pivotal moment 1396 00:51:11,270 --> 00:51:10,000 i've seen it happen countless times i 1397 00:51:13,430 --> 00:51:11,280 see it in my 1398 00:51:14,950 --> 00:51:13,440 you know my participants my clients eyes 1399 00:51:18,069 --> 00:51:14,960 like there's a pivotal moment that's 1400 00:51:21,670 --> 00:51:18,079 like oh my gosh this is not working 1401 00:51:22,470 --> 00:51:21,680 so i need to try something else right 1402 00:51:24,950 --> 00:51:22,480 for 1403 00:51:27,990 --> 00:51:24,960 this sometimes requires 1404 00:51:29,829 --> 00:51:28,000 a long time of suffering right like so 1405 00:51:31,990 --> 00:51:29,839 that's why sometimes i think it 1406 00:51:33,589 --> 00:51:32,000 resonates because 1407 00:51:35,670 --> 00:51:33,599 for some people they've tried for 1408 00:51:37,430 --> 00:51:35,680 example distraction and it's worked 1409 00:51:39,510 --> 00:51:37,440 temporarily and they've only had it for 1410 00:51:40,390 --> 00:51:39,520 a few months and they're good to go 1411 00:51:42,549 --> 00:51:40,400 so 1412 00:51:45,109 --> 00:51:42,559 you know it's fine 1413 00:51:47,670 --> 00:51:45,119 but for people who've had it for a while 1414 00:51:51,670 --> 00:51:47,680 this resonates there's this pivotal 1415 00:51:53,670 --> 00:51:51,680 moment where they're like ah okay 1416 00:51:55,030 --> 00:51:53,680 okay it sounds like they've tried plenty 1417 00:51:57,270 --> 00:51:55,040 and then they're thinking well i need to 1418 00:51:59,349 --> 00:51:57,280 try something new but that something new 1419 00:52:01,510 --> 00:51:59,359 could be almost any of the therapies 1420 00:52:03,430 --> 00:52:01,520 that are tried and you said that act 1421 00:52:05,670 --> 00:52:03,440 seems to work better for these people 1422 00:52:07,829 --> 00:52:05,680 who have tried plenty already so what is 1423 00:52:09,589 --> 00:52:07,839 it because if it's this pivotal moment 1424 00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:09,599 then would that pivotal moment not apply 1425 00:52:14,309 --> 00:52:11,760 to any of the other therapies that they 1426 00:52:17,670 --> 00:52:14,319 could try that are new any new therapies 1427 00:52:19,750 --> 00:52:17,680 i mean again act is 1428 00:52:21,910 --> 00:52:19,760 it tends to be equivalent to other gold 1429 00:52:24,230 --> 00:52:21,920 standard ah right right right 1430 00:52:25,990 --> 00:52:24,240 so it's not i'm not saying it's better 1431 00:52:28,870 --> 00:52:26,000 and i'm not i'm not sure it's conclusive 1432 00:52:31,430 --> 00:52:28,880 that it's better for these people 1433 00:52:34,230 --> 00:52:31,440 but act is one of 1434 00:52:36,069 --> 00:52:34,240 it is the only therapy actually like 1435 00:52:37,990 --> 00:52:36,079 scientifically based one that's been 1436 00:52:40,150 --> 00:52:38,000 examined with you know randomized 1437 00:52:43,750 --> 00:52:40,160 controlled trials that has such a heavy 1438 00:52:46,390 --> 00:52:43,760 focus on the the values and it's it's 1439 00:52:48,549 --> 00:52:46,400 and it's also built on all these you 1440 00:52:50,710 --> 00:52:48,559 know basic science studies showing that 1441 00:52:52,309 --> 00:52:50,720 like thought suppression doesn't work 1442 00:52:54,150 --> 00:52:52,319 distraction doesn't work they come in 1443 00:52:56,870 --> 00:52:54,160 the rebound effect 1444 00:52:59,349 --> 00:52:56,880 but again the values piece is what 1445 00:53:00,390 --> 00:52:59,359 provides the motivation to to do the 1446 00:53:01,750 --> 00:53:00,400 hard work 1447 00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:01,760 right so 1448 00:53:07,270 --> 00:53:04,559 the woman who has had panic attacks for 1449 00:53:08,390 --> 00:53:07,280 10 years and barely leaves her house 1450 00:53:09,750 --> 00:53:08,400 anymore 1451 00:53:10,790 --> 00:53:09,760 okay 1452 00:53:15,589 --> 00:53:10,800 and 1453 00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:15,599 to reduce the panic attacks 1454 00:53:20,309 --> 00:53:18,240 works for a bit not too long 1455 00:53:21,829 --> 00:53:20,319 and she's you know not leaving her house 1456 00:53:23,990 --> 00:53:21,839 very much anymore 1457 00:53:26,630 --> 00:53:24,000 her daughter is graduating 1458 00:53:28,870 --> 00:53:26,640 and this requires her to go 1459 00:53:31,430 --> 00:53:28,880 sit in a building with or in an 1460 00:53:33,349 --> 00:53:31,440 auditorium with hundreds of people like 1461 00:53:35,510 --> 00:53:33,359 the most stressful thing for someone 1462 00:53:37,510 --> 00:53:35,520 like this 1463 00:53:39,990 --> 00:53:37,520 what would motivate her to do this work 1464 00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:44,309 as her as her daughter is on the stage 1465 00:53:47,670 --> 00:53:46,000 and she looks up 1466 00:53:52,150 --> 00:53:47,680 into the seats 1467 00:53:57,670 --> 00:53:55,109 right you make the values 1468 00:53:59,990 --> 00:53:57,680 front and center for the mom 1469 00:54:02,230 --> 00:54:00,000 do you want your daughter to see you 1470 00:54:05,109 --> 00:54:02,240 there 1471 00:54:06,390 --> 00:54:05,119 would you be willing to experience 1472 00:54:07,589 --> 00:54:06,400 that 1473 00:54:10,470 --> 00:54:07,599 feeling of 1474 00:54:12,309 --> 00:54:10,480 overwhelming fear and anxiety if it 1475 00:54:13,829 --> 00:54:12,319 means that your daughter for the rest of 1476 00:54:17,510 --> 00:54:13,839 her life will say 1477 00:54:22,069 --> 00:54:20,150 so values make it worthwhile and it's a 1478 00:54:24,390 --> 00:54:22,079 really important aspect and so like a 1479 00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:24,400 lot of the traditional 1480 00:54:30,470 --> 00:54:28,400 cbt have now incorporated values into 1481 00:54:33,750 --> 00:54:30,480 their treatment models because we're 1482 00:54:35,990 --> 00:54:33,760 finding it's such a powerful piece right 1483 00:54:38,150 --> 00:54:36,000 but values have always been the heart of 1484 00:54:39,190 --> 00:54:38,160 act 1485 00:54:41,589 --> 00:54:39,200 have you 1486 00:54:45,109 --> 00:54:41,599 found any studies that demonstrate 1487 00:54:46,710 --> 00:54:45,119 whether act works for suicidal ideation 1488 00:54:48,230 --> 00:54:46,720 or other 1489 00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:48,240 i think you call them distressors before 1490 00:54:52,150 --> 00:54:50,880 or but i'm not sure other because we 1491 00:54:53,990 --> 00:54:52,160 don't want to call them illnesses but 1492 00:54:57,270 --> 00:54:54,000 other and nor do we want to call them 1493 00:54:58,790 --> 00:54:57,280 disorders per se but issues other issues 1494 00:55:00,790 --> 00:54:58,800 maybe psychosis schizophrenia 1495 00:55:03,910 --> 00:55:00,800 derealization 1496 00:55:06,150 --> 00:55:03,920 so what's really interesting is 1497 00:55:08,790 --> 00:55:06,160 like i said there's over 300 randomized 1498 00:55:11,670 --> 00:55:08,800 controlled trials on act 1499 00:55:14,309 --> 00:55:11,680 and they range from mental health 1500 00:55:17,109 --> 00:55:14,319 conditions like depression anxiety 1501 00:55:20,309 --> 00:55:17,119 psychosis trichotillomania there's a 1502 00:55:22,790 --> 00:55:20,319 huge range of mental health conditions 1503 00:55:25,430 --> 00:55:22,800 it's been effective in a huge range of 1504 00:55:26,870 --> 00:55:25,440 medical conditions diabetes multiple 1505 00:55:28,150 --> 00:55:26,880 sclerosis 1506 00:55:29,750 --> 00:55:28,160 cancer 1507 00:55:32,829 --> 00:55:29,760 cardi car 1508 00:55:35,589 --> 00:55:32,839 heart failure a lot of those 1509 00:55:37,670 --> 00:55:35,599 hiv and in terms of the outcomes are 1510 00:55:39,270 --> 00:55:37,680 different right it's like getting back 1511 00:55:42,150 --> 00:55:39,280 into care or 1512 00:55:44,069 --> 00:55:42,160 cancer-related anxiety or 1513 00:55:46,069 --> 00:55:44,079 okay just to be clear you're not saying 1514 00:55:48,549 --> 00:55:46,079 employ act in order to induce your 1515 00:55:50,470 --> 00:55:48,559 cancer to a state of remission 1516 00:55:53,430 --> 00:55:50,480 no it's like for things related to it 1517 00:55:56,870 --> 00:55:53,440 like cancer related anxiety or for in 1518 00:55:59,990 --> 00:55:56,880 the in the heart failure patients it's 1519 00:56:01,670 --> 00:56:00,000 improving behaviors that would 1520 00:56:03,670 --> 00:56:01,680 um improve actually your health 1521 00:56:06,230 --> 00:56:03,680 condition right 1522 00:56:08,710 --> 00:56:06,240 um migraines it's been helpful for 1523 00:56:11,510 --> 00:56:08,720 migraines because migraine is a very 1524 00:56:13,270 --> 00:56:11,520 similar condition right the more you 1525 00:56:15,349 --> 00:56:13,280 struggle that you're getting headaches 1526 00:56:17,349 --> 00:56:15,359 the more you're gonna get headaches 1527 00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:17,359 and the more you avoid life because of 1528 00:56:21,829 --> 00:56:19,760 fear of getting headaches the more 1529 00:56:23,750 --> 00:56:21,839 um sensitive you become to things that 1530 00:56:27,510 --> 00:56:23,760 trigger headaches 1531 00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:27,520 and also it's been used in a range of 1532 00:56:31,750 --> 00:56:30,480 life things like chess performance 1533 00:56:33,190 --> 00:56:31,760 stigma 1534 00:56:34,230 --> 00:56:33,200 prejudice 1535 00:56:35,589 --> 00:56:34,240 um 1536 00:56:41,430 --> 00:56:35,599 rowing 1537 00:56:42,630 --> 00:56:41,440 enhancing sports performance for example 1538 00:56:44,870 --> 00:56:42,640 um 1539 00:56:46,470 --> 00:56:44,880 how about learning in general so for 1540 00:56:48,309 --> 00:56:46,480 example in this channel learning math 1541 00:56:50,150 --> 00:56:48,319 and physics 1542 00:56:52,390 --> 00:56:50,160 i don't know if i've seen a study on 1543 00:56:53,829 --> 00:56:52,400 that that doesn't mean it doesn't exist 1544 00:56:55,670 --> 00:56:53,839 um 1545 00:56:57,510 --> 00:56:55,680 could you imagine how it could be used 1546 00:56:59,510 --> 00:56:57,520 to enhance learning or would it just be 1547 00:57:01,190 --> 00:56:59,520 if some anxiety was holding you back 1548 00:57:03,190 --> 00:57:01,200 from learning we addressed that and then 1549 00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:03,200 the learning i think so i think it would 1550 00:57:06,710 --> 00:57:04,640 be more like 1551 00:57:09,829 --> 00:57:06,720 how do you become more present focused 1552 00:57:12,549 --> 00:57:09,839 when you're studying how do you you know 1553 00:57:14,470 --> 00:57:12,559 not let anxiety and difficult thoughts 1554 00:57:17,670 --> 00:57:14,480 get in the way because 1555 00:57:20,230 --> 00:57:17,680 you can over think you can worry so much 1556 00:57:22,549 --> 00:57:20,240 that it gets in the way of how you do 1557 00:57:23,510 --> 00:57:22,559 so you would address that part of it you 1558 00:57:25,030 --> 00:57:23,520 know 1559 00:57:27,109 --> 00:57:25,040 like in the medical conditions we 1560 00:57:30,150 --> 00:57:27,119 address treatment adherence 1561 00:57:31,510 --> 00:57:30,160 with our diabetic patients for example 1562 00:57:33,430 --> 00:57:31,520 because patients don't want to think 1563 00:57:34,870 --> 00:57:33,440 about their condition they won't take 1564 00:57:36,789 --> 00:57:34,880 their medications because the 1565 00:57:39,589 --> 00:57:36,799 medications remind them of how sick they 1566 00:57:42,069 --> 00:57:39,599 are right it's an avoidance strategy 1567 00:57:43,910 --> 00:57:42,079 and so you're telling them to face 1568 00:57:45,589 --> 00:57:43,920 this thing that's scary to them because 1569 00:57:47,750 --> 00:57:45,599 actually in the long term 1570 00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:47,760 it will help them with their condition 1571 00:57:50,630 --> 00:57:48,559 right 1572 00:57:53,349 --> 00:57:50,640 so there's a lot of treatment adherence 1573 00:57:55,030 --> 00:57:53,359 things that act works on because a lot 1574 00:57:56,789 --> 00:57:55,040 of 1575 00:57:59,470 --> 00:57:56,799 difficulty with treatment adherence is 1576 00:58:03,190 --> 00:57:59,480 due to avoidance it's uncomfortable it's 1577 00:58:03,990 --> 00:58:03,200 inconvenient it's anxiety provoking 1578 00:58:06,069 --> 00:58:04,000 um 1579 00:58:08,390 --> 00:58:06,079 act has also been used in works 1580 00:58:11,270 --> 00:58:08,400 workplace stress and burnout among 1581 00:58:12,309 --> 00:58:11,280 medical professionals 1582 00:58:14,390 --> 00:58:12,319 um 1583 00:58:16,309 --> 00:58:14,400 but you ask oh i know what you asked me 1584 00:58:19,349 --> 00:58:16,319 about does it work for psychosis which 1585 00:58:22,069 --> 00:58:19,359 reminded me and now i'm jumping back 1586 00:58:24,710 --> 00:58:22,079 so act is listed as an empirically 1587 00:58:26,789 --> 00:58:24,720 supported treatment by 1588 00:58:27,910 --> 00:58:26,799 the american psychological association 1589 00:58:28,950 --> 00:58:27,920 and other 1590 00:58:32,069 --> 00:58:28,960 um 1591 00:58:33,430 --> 00:58:32,079 important boards for five conditions 1592 00:58:34,870 --> 00:58:33,440 for depression 1593 00:58:37,430 --> 00:58:34,880 anxiety 1594 00:58:39,589 --> 00:58:37,440 ocd psychosis 1595 00:58:42,390 --> 00:58:39,599 and chronic pain 1596 00:58:45,510 --> 00:58:42,400 now it's been tested in 1597 00:58:48,150 --> 00:58:45,520 dozens of other conditions but to reach 1598 00:58:49,510 --> 00:58:48,160 the scientific rigor to be listed 1599 00:58:51,270 --> 00:58:49,520 you have to have a certain number of 1600 00:58:53,430 --> 00:58:51,280 clinical trials and they have to be from 1601 00:58:56,230 --> 00:58:53,440 independent labs and 1602 00:58:58,630 --> 00:58:56,240 you know so there has to it's um 1603 00:58:59,829 --> 00:58:58,640 it's a very rigorous thing to get listed 1604 00:59:02,789 --> 00:58:59,839 on that but 1605 00:59:04,390 --> 00:59:02,799 imagine it's actually listed 1606 00:59:06,549 --> 00:59:04,400 as an empirically supported treatment 1607 00:59:09,990 --> 00:59:06,559 for psychosis 1608 00:59:11,670 --> 00:59:10,000 and so yes it works for that more in 1609 00:59:14,710 --> 00:59:11,680 terms of 1610 00:59:16,710 --> 00:59:14,720 not reducing symptoms per se 1611 00:59:19,750 --> 00:59:16,720 but learning to live 1612 00:59:22,950 --> 00:59:19,760 with them more effectively and 1613 00:59:30,309 --> 00:59:26,549 in the first study of psychosis 1614 00:59:33,829 --> 00:59:32,069 and getting back to the question of is 1615 00:59:35,829 --> 00:59:33,839 acknowledgement a better term than 1616 00:59:37,910 --> 00:59:35,839 acceptance because acceptance has the 1617 00:59:40,230 --> 00:59:37,920 connotation that you should accept the 1618 00:59:42,549 --> 00:59:40,240 thought like go with it 1619 00:59:44,549 --> 00:59:42,559 believe it even 1620 00:59:47,190 --> 00:59:44,559 so it's not what it should be called 1621 00:59:49,270 --> 00:59:47,200 it's what works right it's what works 1622 00:59:51,349 --> 00:59:49,280 that said 1623 00:59:52,150 --> 00:59:51,359 i don't use the term acceptance in my 1624 00:59:56,390 --> 00:59:52,160 work 1625 00:59:58,710 --> 00:59:56,400 you know when we're writing about it 1626 01:00:01,510 --> 00:59:58,720 but in the like day-to-day interactions 1627 01:00:03,270 --> 01:00:01,520 with my patients or with my clients i 1628 01:00:06,069 --> 01:00:03,280 don't use the term acceptance because 1629 01:00:08,390 --> 01:00:06,079 it's a very loaded actually actually 1630 01:00:10,950 --> 01:00:08,400 term like they take it as like just suck 1631 01:00:13,990 --> 01:00:10,960 it up and accept it you know 1632 01:00:15,109 --> 01:00:14,000 and that's definitely not the intended 1633 01:00:18,390 --> 01:00:15,119 message 1634 01:00:19,430 --> 01:00:18,400 acknowledge is a much better term i 1635 01:00:21,670 --> 01:00:19,440 think 1636 01:00:23,910 --> 01:00:21,680 the thing that acknowledge 1637 01:00:25,750 --> 01:00:23,920 doesn't get into i think 1638 01:00:28,390 --> 01:00:25,760 although it might i just haven't thought 1639 01:00:30,789 --> 01:00:28,400 about it enough but 1640 01:00:33,190 --> 01:00:30,799 acknowledge is a really good one 1641 01:00:35,030 --> 01:00:33,200 i think what willingness does as an 1642 01:00:35,910 --> 01:00:35,040 extra step 1643 01:00:39,349 --> 01:00:35,920 is 1644 01:00:41,190 --> 01:00:39,359 connects it to the value because 1645 01:00:43,430 --> 01:00:41,200 are you willing 1646 01:00:46,150 --> 01:00:43,440 to feel this way 1647 01:00:48,549 --> 01:00:46,160 or to have these thoughts 1648 01:00:50,630 --> 01:00:48,559 in service of something important to you 1649 01:00:52,710 --> 01:00:50,640 would you be willing to experience fear 1650 01:00:54,309 --> 01:00:52,720 and anxiety 1651 01:00:55,670 --> 01:00:54,319 if it means you'll be at your daughter's 1652 01:00:58,950 --> 01:00:55,680 graduation 1653 01:00:59,670 --> 01:00:58,960 would you be willing to experience all 1654 01:01:01,589 --> 01:00:59,680 the 1655 01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:01,599 difficulties 1656 01:01:05,670 --> 01:01:03,920 of graduate school if it means that 1657 01:01:07,349 --> 01:01:05,680 you'll get to do what you want to do at 1658 01:01:10,150 --> 01:01:07,359 the end right 1659 01:01:11,990 --> 01:01:10,160 so the willingness piece for me connects 1660 01:01:14,549 --> 01:01:12,000 it to the other side 1661 01:01:17,030 --> 01:01:14,559 which is a critical one but certainly 1662 01:01:19,030 --> 01:01:17,040 acknowledge is much more i think 1663 01:01:21,430 --> 01:01:19,040 compassionate than 1664 01:01:22,789 --> 01:01:21,440 accept 1665 01:01:25,030 --> 01:01:22,799 one of the questions i have and it's 1666 01:01:26,950 --> 01:01:25,040 more of a philosophical one is 1667 01:01:29,589 --> 01:01:26,960 determining whether 1668 01:01:32,390 --> 01:01:29,599 an issue is a psychological 1669 01:01:33,349 --> 01:01:32,400 problem or a physical one so for example 1670 01:01:37,270 --> 01:01:33,359 for me 1671 01:01:39,990 --> 01:01:37,280 for a series of weeks i was waking up 1672 01:01:42,069 --> 01:01:40,000 soon after going to sleep 1673 01:01:44,789 --> 01:01:42,079 terrorized by something by 1674 01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:44,799 a dream and feeling horror as they woke 1675 01:01:48,549 --> 01:01:46,880 up and then it turns out as soon as i 1676 01:01:50,470 --> 01:01:48,559 started sleeping on my side all of that 1677 01:01:52,470 --> 01:01:50,480 went away and it's because i have a mild 1678 01:01:54,230 --> 01:01:52,480 sleep apnea that i didn't know about and 1679 01:01:56,789 --> 01:01:54,240 this is common in people who have sleep 1680 01:01:59,270 --> 01:01:56,799 apnea your mouth your throat closes and 1681 01:02:01,510 --> 01:01:59,280 so you wake yourself up and because it 1682 01:02:03,910 --> 01:02:01,520 triggers a certain reflex you wake up in 1683 01:02:06,309 --> 01:02:03,920 fear and you think or i thought that i 1684 01:02:08,789 --> 01:02:06,319 need to go to see sigmund freud or carl 1685 01:02:11,349 --> 01:02:08,799 jung to resolve childhood issues that 1686 01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:11,359 are coming up in my dreams but it all 1687 01:02:16,069 --> 01:02:13,760 went away when i slept on my side 1688 01:02:17,990 --> 01:02:16,079 so that was a physical problem that i 1689 01:02:20,390 --> 01:02:18,000 thought was a psychological one so how 1690 01:02:22,470 --> 01:02:20,400 does one go about determining when a 1691 01:02:24,470 --> 01:02:22,480 problem requires a physical intervention 1692 01:02:26,230 --> 01:02:24,480 versus a psychological one so let's call 1693 01:02:28,390 --> 01:02:26,240 that question number one and then 1694 01:02:30,549 --> 01:02:28,400 a sub to that question 1a is how does 1695 01:02:32,309 --> 01:02:30,559 one determine whether an intervention 1696 01:02:34,549 --> 01:02:32,319 such as running or exercise like a 1697 01:02:37,190 --> 01:02:34,559 physical one in this case that the lack 1698 01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:37,200 of it is the cause for the issue 1699 01:02:41,190 --> 01:02:39,200 versus the addition of it abates the 1700 01:02:42,470 --> 01:02:41,200 underlying problem so are those two seen 1701 01:02:45,030 --> 01:02:42,480 as the same 1702 01:02:47,349 --> 01:02:45,040 this is an ideological question so it's 1703 01:02:48,870 --> 01:02:47,359 more philosophical about 1704 01:02:51,190 --> 01:02:48,880 how does one determine whether the 1705 01:02:53,750 --> 01:02:51,200 presence of something 1706 01:02:56,230 --> 01:02:53,760 is the cure for the predicament versus 1707 01:02:57,990 --> 01:02:56,240 the lack of it being the cause of the 1708 01:02:59,910 --> 01:02:58,000 problem let me know if that was clear 1709 01:03:00,710 --> 01:02:59,920 because i can restate that 1710 01:03:02,549 --> 01:03:00,720 well 1711 01:03:05,670 --> 01:03:02,559 the question is a hard one and i won't 1712 01:03:07,349 --> 01:03:05,680 answer it directly what i will say is 1713 01:03:10,710 --> 01:03:07,359 that 1714 01:03:13,109 --> 01:03:10,720 mental health and physical health issues 1715 01:03:14,829 --> 01:03:13,119 are intertwined and 1716 01:03:17,910 --> 01:03:14,839 play a very strong 1717 01:03:19,510 --> 01:03:17,920 bi-directional effect on each other 1718 01:03:22,230 --> 01:03:19,520 so for example 1719 01:03:23,430 --> 01:03:22,240 people who have when you do longitudinal 1720 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:23,440 studies 1721 01:03:29,270 --> 01:03:26,480 people who have depression 1722 01:03:31,990 --> 01:03:29,280 are at much higher risk 1723 01:03:35,829 --> 01:03:32,000 for cardiovascular disease 1724 01:03:37,670 --> 01:03:35,839 and migraine and a range of physical 1725 01:03:39,990 --> 01:03:37,680 health problems 1726 01:03:42,069 --> 01:03:40,000 and the reverse is true 1727 01:03:45,510 --> 01:03:42,079 patients with migraine and 1728 01:03:47,829 --> 01:03:45,520 cardiovascular disease ms 1729 01:03:49,670 --> 01:03:47,839 are at much higher risk for mental 1730 01:03:51,190 --> 01:03:49,680 health difficulties like depression and 1731 01:03:52,870 --> 01:03:51,200 anxiety 1732 01:03:55,029 --> 01:03:52,880 so it's 1733 01:03:57,029 --> 01:03:55,039 they're very bi-directional and 1734 01:03:58,710 --> 01:03:57,039 longitudinal studies have shown this and 1735 01:04:01,029 --> 01:03:58,720 people have spent a lot of time trying 1736 01:04:03,430 --> 01:04:01,039 to figure out which comes first and 1737 01:04:05,029 --> 01:04:03,440 it differs for different people 1738 01:04:06,950 --> 01:04:05,039 i think the important thing to know is 1739 01:04:09,430 --> 01:04:06,960 that they do 1740 01:04:11,109 --> 01:04:09,440 influence each other you know 1741 01:04:13,109 --> 01:04:11,119 i'm not 1742 01:04:16,870 --> 01:04:13,119 sometimes targeting both is the best 1743 01:04:18,069 --> 01:04:16,880 strategy like let's take migraines right 1744 01:04:20,390 --> 01:04:18,079 stress 1745 01:04:22,470 --> 01:04:20,400 so migraines are triggered by many 1746 01:04:23,430 --> 01:04:22,480 things it's triggered by certain foods 1747 01:04:24,870 --> 01:04:23,440 it's 1748 01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:24,880 triggered by certain 1749 01:04:27,750 --> 01:04:26,960 changes in elevation 1750 01:04:31,029 --> 01:04:27,760 um 1751 01:04:32,789 --> 01:04:31,039 but it's one of the main triggers of 1752 01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:32,799 migraines is stress 1753 01:04:34,710 --> 01:04:33,680 right 1754 01:04:36,950 --> 01:04:34,720 so 1755 01:04:38,950 --> 01:04:36,960 if you address the stress 1756 01:04:41,349 --> 01:04:38,960 you might minimize the number of 1757 01:04:44,470 --> 01:04:41,359 migraines that doesn't mean that 1758 01:04:47,510 --> 01:04:44,480 migraines are not a true neurological 1759 01:04:49,589 --> 01:04:47,520 condition because it is the brains 1760 01:04:53,109 --> 01:04:49,599 of patients with migraine 1761 01:04:54,549 --> 01:04:53,119 even outside of a migraine episode 1762 01:04:57,190 --> 01:04:54,559 their brains are different from people 1763 01:04:58,309 --> 01:04:57,200 who don't have migraines right 1764 01:05:01,109 --> 01:04:58,319 and so 1765 01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:01,119 would that person benefit from both 1766 01:05:05,589 --> 01:05:03,200 a preventive or acute migraine 1767 01:05:07,589 --> 01:05:05,599 medication and 1768 01:05:10,230 --> 01:05:07,599 stress relieving strategies 1769 01:05:12,150 --> 01:05:10,240 probably absolutely actually 1770 01:05:14,390 --> 01:05:12,160 same thing applies for cardiovascular 1771 01:05:17,750 --> 01:05:14,400 disease right 1772 01:05:20,829 --> 01:05:17,760 people who have depression are two times 1773 01:05:22,789 --> 01:05:20,839 more likely to 1774 01:05:24,870 --> 01:05:22,799 die from 1775 01:05:26,950 --> 01:05:24,880 cardiovascular disease than people 1776 01:05:28,870 --> 01:05:26,960 without depression right 1777 01:05:31,029 --> 01:05:28,880 is that the cause 1778 01:05:33,190 --> 01:05:31,039 it's hard to say right but does it 1779 01:05:34,630 --> 01:05:33,200 impact it absolutely 1780 01:05:37,029 --> 01:05:34,640 so maybe that's a different way to 1781 01:05:38,549 --> 01:05:37,039 answer your question sure and can we end 1782 01:05:39,589 --> 01:05:38,559 on the visual just one more visual 1783 01:05:43,029 --> 01:05:39,599 exercise 1784 01:05:45,510 --> 01:05:43,039 one more visual well there are many um 1785 01:05:47,510 --> 01:05:45,520 but one like the bus driver for example 1786 01:05:50,870 --> 01:05:47,520 that's very similar to the bus driver 1787 01:05:53,510 --> 01:05:50,880 but i do individually with my patients 1788 01:05:55,910 --> 01:05:53,520 it's called the lifeline you know and i 1789 01:05:58,069 --> 01:05:55,920 get and it's a physical one in the sense 1790 01:05:59,990 --> 01:05:58,079 that i stand next to them and then i say 1791 01:06:02,150 --> 01:06:00,000 something like 1792 01:06:04,630 --> 01:06:02,160 what is something that you really care 1793 01:06:06,069 --> 01:06:04,640 about that you haven't been doing 1794 01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:06,079 you know and 1795 01:06:10,069 --> 01:06:08,240 so maybe someone will say to me like i 1796 01:06:11,910 --> 01:06:10,079 want to go out more with friends but i'm 1797 01:06:13,589 --> 01:06:11,920 too anxious 1798 01:06:15,750 --> 01:06:13,599 and then i'll really get at i'll say 1799 01:06:17,190 --> 01:06:15,760 well tell me why that matters to you you 1800 01:06:19,270 --> 01:06:17,200 know why 1801 01:06:20,390 --> 01:06:19,280 why do you even care about that 1802 01:06:21,910 --> 01:06:20,400 well because 1803 01:06:25,510 --> 01:06:21,920 you know i want to have friends and it's 1804 01:06:28,630 --> 01:06:25,520 important and i really care about people 1805 01:06:31,270 --> 01:06:28,640 and so i'll i'll put a sticky note on a 1806 01:06:32,470 --> 01:06:31,280 door which is a little bit far away from 1807 01:06:34,549 --> 01:06:32,480 us you know 1808 01:06:37,349 --> 01:06:34,559 and i'll say what's one step that you 1809 01:06:38,470 --> 01:06:37,359 can take what's one small thing you can 1810 01:06:41,190 --> 01:06:38,480 do 1811 01:06:44,549 --> 01:06:41,200 that can move you closer to this 1812 01:06:49,829 --> 01:06:47,029 they might say something like 1813 01:06:51,990 --> 01:06:49,839 ask someone on a date or they might say 1814 01:06:53,910 --> 01:06:52,000 something like uh say yes to an 1815 01:06:55,349 --> 01:06:53,920 invitation right 1816 01:06:58,470 --> 01:06:55,359 and i'll say great and i'll put that 1817 01:06:59,270 --> 01:06:58,480 sticky on the door next to the value 1818 01:07:01,349 --> 01:06:59,280 like 1819 01:07:03,829 --> 01:07:01,359 want to have more social interactions i 1820 01:07:06,630 --> 01:07:03,839 want to ask someone on a date 1821 01:07:08,789 --> 01:07:06,640 so then i say okay 1822 01:07:10,390 --> 01:07:08,799 let's let's think about walking towards 1823 01:07:12,549 --> 01:07:10,400 that let's imagine that you're about to 1824 01:07:14,710 --> 01:07:12,559 go ask someone on a date 1825 01:07:16,870 --> 01:07:14,720 tell me what what shows up for you like 1826 01:07:19,029 --> 01:07:16,880 what thoughts pop up 1827 01:07:20,630 --> 01:07:19,039 like you're not good enough or you're 1828 01:07:21,589 --> 01:07:20,640 gonna look stupid 1829 01:07:23,910 --> 01:07:21,599 you're 1830 01:07:25,029 --> 01:07:23,920 you know not lovable enough like what 1831 01:07:27,430 --> 01:07:25,039 shows up 1832 01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:27,440 so i guide them but they start like 1833 01:07:31,190 --> 01:07:29,680 telling me some thoughts and i say okay 1834 01:07:32,390 --> 01:07:31,200 and what shows up in your body as you 1835 01:07:33,430 --> 01:07:32,400 think about 1836 01:07:35,510 --> 01:07:33,440 going 1837 01:07:37,510 --> 01:07:35,520 to ask someone on a date 1838 01:07:39,829 --> 01:07:37,520 and they'll say oh like anxiety like my 1839 01:07:41,589 --> 01:07:39,839 heart's racing you know so i'll stick 1840 01:07:44,630 --> 01:07:41,599 sticky notes 1841 01:07:45,589 --> 01:07:44,640 on their body that has all these things 1842 01:07:47,349 --> 01:07:45,599 like 1843 01:07:49,589 --> 01:07:47,359 heart racing 1844 01:07:51,109 --> 01:07:49,599 she's gonna reject you you're gonna look 1845 01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:51,119 like a loser 1846 01:07:56,549 --> 01:07:54,880 this is terrible i can't handle it right 1847 01:07:59,109 --> 01:07:56,559 but when you 1848 01:08:01,029 --> 01:07:59,119 write it out and it's like outside your 1849 01:08:02,950 --> 01:08:01,039 head and you're putting it on a sticky 1850 01:08:04,789 --> 01:08:02,960 note on their body 1851 01:08:06,950 --> 01:08:04,799 first of all you you're kind of 1852 01:08:09,190 --> 01:08:06,960 disentangling a little bit the monster 1853 01:08:11,349 --> 01:08:09,200 that comes as a flood 1854 01:08:14,150 --> 01:08:11,359 and then i ask the person to start 1855 01:08:15,510 --> 01:08:14,160 walking with me towards 1856 01:08:18,870 --> 01:08:15,520 that 1857 01:08:19,829 --> 01:08:18,880 be doing 1858 01:08:22,470 --> 01:08:19,839 right 1859 01:08:24,789 --> 01:08:22,480 and as they are walking i start yelling 1860 01:08:26,470 --> 01:08:24,799 out all these things at them 1861 01:08:29,430 --> 01:08:26,480 you're going to blow it you're going to 1862 01:08:31,349 --> 01:08:29,440 be rejected it's going to be terrible 1863 01:08:34,870 --> 01:08:31,359 you're going to panic 1864 01:08:36,950 --> 01:08:34,880 and as i do that i turn them around 1865 01:08:40,709 --> 01:08:36,960 so that they stop walking towards their 1866 01:08:42,309 --> 01:08:40,719 value and start walking away from it 1867 01:08:44,470 --> 01:08:42,319 and then i say 1868 01:08:46,390 --> 01:08:44,480 how does it feel to walk away from that 1869 01:08:48,789 --> 01:08:46,400 thing that matters to you 1870 01:08:51,110 --> 01:08:48,799 they'll say it's a relief like because 1871 01:08:53,189 --> 01:08:51,120 i'm i stop i stop yelling at them as 1872 01:08:55,349 --> 01:08:53,199 well like their mind stops yelling at 1873 01:08:57,110 --> 01:08:55,359 them they've dodged a bullet 1874 01:08:58,229 --> 01:08:57,120 and i'll say okay 1875 01:09:00,630 --> 01:08:58,239 that's right 1876 01:09:02,470 --> 01:09:00,640 you've dodged a bullet 1877 01:09:04,470 --> 01:09:02,480 but what about that thing that matters 1878 01:09:06,149 --> 01:09:04,480 to you that thing that you really want 1879 01:09:08,229 --> 01:09:06,159 to do 1880 01:09:09,189 --> 01:09:08,239 and you'll be like well it's still far 1881 01:09:11,749 --> 01:09:09,199 away 1882 01:09:14,070 --> 01:09:11,759 right and i keep doing this 1883 01:09:16,709 --> 01:09:14,080 and like walking 1884 01:09:18,309 --> 01:09:16,719 and then turning him around walking and 1885 01:09:19,749 --> 01:09:18,319 like yelling these things that are on 1886 01:09:21,910 --> 01:09:19,759 the sticky note 1887 01:09:24,789 --> 01:09:21,920 and turning him around 1888 01:09:26,470 --> 01:09:24,799 until the last time or the final round 1889 01:09:29,669 --> 01:09:26,480 what i'll do is 1890 01:09:31,910 --> 01:09:29,679 i will walk with him all the way to the 1891 01:09:32,870 --> 01:09:31,920 sticky note have him grab the sticky 1892 01:09:36,149 --> 01:09:32,880 note 1893 01:09:37,349 --> 01:09:36,159 even though the thoughts are still there 1894 01:09:39,749 --> 01:09:37,359 right 1895 01:09:42,950 --> 01:09:39,759 he was willing to walk towards that 1896 01:09:44,309 --> 01:09:42,960 thing that mattered despite 1897 01:09:46,229 --> 01:09:44,319 all these difficult thoughts and 1898 01:09:49,829 --> 01:09:46,239 emotions that showed up 1899 01:09:52,309 --> 01:09:49,839 and then i'll say what does it feel like 1900 01:09:54,550 --> 01:09:52,319 to actually get there 1901 01:09:55,350 --> 01:09:54,560 and they'll always say like that feels 1902 01:10:01,510 --> 01:09:55,360 like 1903 01:10:02,870 --> 01:10:01,520 the fear win i didn't let my mind win i 1904 01:10:05,510 --> 01:10:02,880 didn't let 1905 01:10:08,229 --> 01:10:05,520 my emotions win i i let the thing that 1906 01:10:10,790 --> 01:10:08,239 matters when 1907 01:10:12,390 --> 01:10:10,800 i like that so the reward the reward 1908 01:10:13,510 --> 01:10:12,400 trumps the relief 1909 01:10:15,590 --> 01:10:13,520 correct 1910 01:10:17,510 --> 01:10:15,600 interesting because of time constraints 1911 01:10:19,590 --> 01:10:17,520 the last three questions were answered 1912 01:10:21,910 --> 01:10:19,600 over email and so i'll read them aloud 1913 01:10:25,030 --> 01:10:21,920 here question number one how much of a 1914 01:10:27,110 --> 01:10:25,040 role does belief slash hope play in act 1915 01:10:29,270 --> 01:10:27,120 that is to say when a patient believes 1916 01:10:31,270 --> 01:10:29,280 quote unquote that the treatment will 1917 01:10:33,030 --> 01:10:31,280 work or hopes that the treatment will 1918 01:10:34,790 --> 01:10:33,040 work or trusts that the treatment will 1919 01:10:37,990 --> 01:10:34,800 work then i imagine it would increase 1920 01:10:40,149 --> 01:10:38,000 its efficacy lillian states the placebo 1921 01:10:42,550 --> 01:10:40,159 effect is a real thing 1922 01:10:44,310 --> 01:10:42,560 hope is an important aspect of change it 1923 01:10:47,430 --> 01:10:44,320 helps if a person has trust in the 1924 01:10:49,669 --> 01:10:47,440 provider and in the treatment for sure 1925 01:10:51,750 --> 01:10:49,679 question number two what about finding a 1926 01:10:53,990 --> 01:10:51,760 purpose slash thinking the negative 1927 01:10:56,550 --> 01:10:54,000 thought understanding where it came from 1928 01:10:58,310 --> 01:10:56,560 and its reason and realizing it's not 1929 01:11:00,630 --> 01:10:58,320 needed but was trying to be helpful in 1930 01:11:03,669 --> 01:11:00,640 its own way for example saying to 1931 01:11:05,590 --> 01:11:03,679 oneself yes i see you anxiety and i 1932 01:11:07,110 --> 01:11:05,600 understand how you're trying to protect 1933 01:11:09,510 --> 01:11:07,120 me when i was younger that's how you 1934 01:11:12,630 --> 01:11:09,520 came about but i'm still going to ask 1935 01:11:14,470 --> 01:11:12,640 that guy out on a date anyhow lillian 1936 01:11:17,189 --> 01:11:14,480 answers yes this is something we would 1937 01:11:19,990 --> 01:11:17,199 do an act for sure our mind is often 1938 01:11:21,990 --> 01:11:20,000 trying to protect us so thanking it and 1939 01:11:24,070 --> 01:11:22,000 telling it where the thought originated 1940 01:11:25,430 --> 01:11:24,080 and that the context is now different 1941 01:11:28,470 --> 01:11:25,440 and that the thought is no longer 1942 01:11:30,790 --> 01:11:28,480 helpful is an act consistent move 1943 01:11:33,189 --> 01:11:30,800 the last question question number three 1944 01:11:34,630 --> 01:11:33,199 generally in studies one excludes people 1945 01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:34,640 with comorbidities because it 1946 01:11:38,709 --> 01:11:36,719 complicates the issues however it seems 1947 01:11:41,510 --> 01:11:38,719 like fewer and fewer people are those 1948 01:11:43,189 --> 01:11:41,520 who just have an isolated condition that 1949 01:11:45,189 --> 01:11:43,199 is to say greater and greater numbers of 1950 01:11:47,669 --> 01:11:45,199 people suffer from multiple issues 1951 01:11:49,430 --> 01:11:47,679 rather than just one thus these studies 1952 01:11:51,030 --> 01:11:49,440 don't necessarily reflect treatment 1953 01:11:53,990 --> 01:11:51,040 strategies that work for the majority of 1954 01:11:55,990 --> 01:11:54,000 people how does one overcome this flaw 1955 01:11:57,910 --> 01:11:56,000 that is not reflecting a patient's true 1956 01:11:59,110 --> 01:11:57,920 set of symptoms in the way studies are 1957 01:12:01,750 --> 01:11:59,120 designed 1958 01:12:03,669 --> 01:12:01,760 lillian answers most of my work has been 1959 01:12:05,510 --> 01:12:03,679 with people who have comorbidities 1960 01:12:07,590 --> 01:12:05,520 increasingly people are looking at 1961 01:12:09,830 --> 01:12:07,600 samples that generalize more to the 1962 01:12:11,590 --> 01:12:09,840 larger population 1963 01:12:13,110 --> 01:12:11,600 professor thank you so much i think 1964 01:12:15,590 --> 01:12:13,120 that's a great note to end on i think 1965 01:12:17,350 --> 01:12:15,600 that's extremely inspirational 1966 01:12:19,110 --> 01:12:17,360 great i'm glad 1967 01:12:21,270 --> 01:12:19,120 it was really nice to be here thank you 1968 01:12:22,950 --> 01:12:21,280 for inviting me i appreciate it i 1969 01:12:24,630 --> 01:12:22,960 appreciate you coming out and thank you 1970 01:12:28,310 --> 01:12:24,640 so much 1971 01:12:31,990 --> 01:12:30,229 the podcast is now finished if you'd 1972 01:12:35,110 --> 01:12:32,000 like to support conversations like this 1973 01:12:36,470 --> 01:12:35,120 then do consider going to patreon.com 1974 01:12:39,270 --> 01:12:36,480 c-u-r-t 1975 01:12:41,830 --> 01:12:39,280 j-a-i-m-u-n-g-a-l 1976 01:12:43,669 --> 01:12:41,840 that is kurt jaimungle it's support from 1977 01:12:45,510 --> 01:12:43,679 the patrons and from the sponsors that